retard strength

A bear-like power possessed by large, often socially awkward people during times of excitement or anger. Their insurmountable strength is seemingly inconceivable during their normal, relaxed state, but can be accentuated by emotional distress, or often by intense inebriation by alcohol or other drugs. Though normaly quiet and intraverted, dont let their good natured persona fool you. One too many shots may cause godzilla like devastation, resulting in numerous bone fractures and utter panic caused by bear-like hugs and bone shattering high fives.
Dont let him drink. Last time, he got super friendly after too many shots, gave me a pat on the back, and broke 3 of my verterbrate. Then while apologizing, he lifted me up by my arm, and literally ripped it from my torso. Worst case of retard strength I've ever seen
by eel_G July 10, 2010
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Retard Rage

When a downs syndrome person gets mad.

Scientifically proven to be three times as powerful as the rage emitted by a person of regular intellect.

Retard Rage has been known to be particularly deadly when combined with Retard Strength.
Newspaper headline:

SHOP OWNER MURDERED IN RETARD RAGE ATTACK

A 39 year old New England shop owner was killed yesterday when the downs syndrome man he was serving became enraged over the price of eggs. SWAT officers were called when the arresting officers realised standard steel handcuffs were not enough to restrain the retard rage.
by Don Strongo May 29, 2010
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static retard

Someone who talks lots of shit on Twitter even though their internet connection is static.
"Kingvec7 is such a static retard lmao he'll be offline in a minute"
"I know right didn't he get hit offline for like a week?"
by Bunyuns May 23, 2016
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Retard Rangers

A group of enlightened people who are extremely retarded and know it. Their main goal is to convert all people in the world to a Retard Ranger, and will do so by slapping the selected person on the back of the head. If you wish to be a Retard Ranger, then simply shout "I seek an audience with our superiors!", and if there is a Retard Ranger who has heard you, they will WALK over and slap you. Not run, walk. If there are no Retard Rangers in the immediate vicinity and you wish to become a Retard Ranger, then simply grasp a twig between your thumb and ring finger, and throw it as far as you can while screaming "ACK!". This will activate your RNA(RetardiryboNucleic Acid), and transform you into a Retard Ranger. The safe word among Retard Rangers is "Hebbo!", and while saying this you should run the back of your hand across your forehead. This allows other Retard Rangers to recognize you and your status in society, and they will automatically flock to be with you. If you happen to initiate a Retard Ranger, tell the aforementioned new recruit to look up "Retard Ranger" on Urban Dictionary if they Haven't already.

*Being a Retard Ranger has nothing to do with intelligence or state of mind*
John: "I seek an audience with our superiors!"
Michael: "You wish to join the Retard Rangers?"
John: "ACK!"
by AlphaRetard May 16, 2017
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Illegally Retarded

A person who has no debilitating mental problems, yet still doesn't grasp reality or utilize common sense, even though a wealth of knowledge (the internet) is at their fingertips.
"Emmy thinks if she isn't attracted to someone who hits on her, then it's technically rape. That girl's illegally retarded."
by Iscariom June 06, 2014
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Directionally Retarded

A state beyond directionally challenged. One who is directionally retarded is legitimately useless at navigating anywhere, either by vehicle or by foot. This includes following a navigation system, going to locations they have been to countless times, or even as simple as following someone else's directions who is sitting in the passenger seat of your car. No matter the circumstances, no matter the stakes, one with directional retardation will simply always find a way to fuck it up. This accumulation of wrong turns and missed exits during any voyage means that they are generally always late to everything.
Driver- Ok, what exit do I take?
Passenger- Take exit 4 and then turn right onto cherry street.
Driver (takes exit 5 and then turns left onto Apple street)- Sorry, I'm directionally retarded
by LemonZest June 20, 2016
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