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Jesus Christ

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
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Christ Cream

when he waves his dick in the shape of a cross while he cums on your face with rosary beads in one hand and repeating the lords prayer.
by christcreamer May 15, 2023
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Jesus Christ Sponge

Commonly referring to the pads of non-working lame excuse for a cleaning tool otherwise known as Shamwow.
It's a fucking Jesus Christ Sponge! Run from the soakage!
by JellysWalkinOnAir December 30, 2009
mugGet the Jesus Christ Spongemug.

Mother of Jesus Christ

Something you yell out when your team is losing or you have to pay a expensive bill.
John- Mother of Jesus Christ i can't believe the Patriots are losing to the Raiders

Me- I guess the patriots just suck
by Crzyfkr October 9, 2010
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Dio Christ

Jesus Christ but it’s Dio from Jojo.
Friend: “So do you believe in Jesus Christ?”
Me: “No. I believe in Dio Christ.” (KONO DIO DA)
by ~Purple-Panta~ March 29, 2022
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Jesus Christ

(To the editors, please let this be approved. I am in no way trying to impose my beliefs on anyone, as I am not forcing anyone to convert to Christianity and am not trying to offend anyone either. All I want to do is help people because Christ saved my life when I was in a really bad spot and would like for others to feel the same amount of joy as I am right now. Thank you)
Jesus Christ- A character from the Holy Bible. Many believe Jesus Christ is fictional, but there is a ton of historical proof that says Jesus Christ really did exist and really did die on the cross. Moreover, a lot of people have decided not to put their faith in Jesus Christ, as they believe that the whole notion of there being a god who will save us all is asinine. This is wrong for two reasons.
Jesus Christ is the way and the true and the life
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christ rifle

I need to replace some shingles on the roof. Will someone grab my Christ rifle?
by Ejdjdbajw December 28, 2021
mugGet the christ riflemug.

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