by STANISLAVV October 25, 2006
When someone puts a washing basket on their back to look like a tortoise and performs a cock block by crawling onto a couple's bed whilst they are making intercourse
"i got completely undressed, put on a washing basket and cock block tortoised onto nat's bed who was shagging zach"
by jabbott August 18, 2011
Verb: To take a shit. So called because the act of the sphyncter muscles, whilst pinching off the loaf, creates a guillotine effect upon the toroise's (the shit) neck.
"Hey guys, I'd love to go to the store with you, but I've really got to behead the brown tortoise right now."
by A Dub November 09, 2006
An extreme case of Turtle Head, in which the victim is forced to take sliding baby steps and clench their butt cheeks in order to avoid a full on pant's crapping episode.
You suddenly realize you have turtle head. You leave your desk and take several steps towards the restroom only to experience the second stage of Turtle Head called, "Walking Tortoise Head". You clench your butt cheeks together and make baby steps praying for the strength and the luck to make it to the toilet in time to release this angry monster.
by Caedis T Yo April 12, 2011
Man, I would give that chick a "ukranian purple tortoise" any day, but i can't because her boobs are the same size.
by spoon on my nips March 09, 2009
Masturbation of the male genitals
by WillyMaster1001 November 04, 2023
When someone says something you don't agree with or find a bit weird or controversial (e.g acting sus)
You would Use this set of words in the beginning of a sentence or just say them on their own after the phrase you dont agree with occurs.
You would Use this set of words in the beginning of a sentence or just say them on their own after the phrase you dont agree with occurs.
Person1: Wait there a second i'm coming now
Person2: I'm 'coming' in your mom hahaha
Person3: Naughtis Tortoise, why you got to be acting sus like that
Person2: I'm 'coming' in your mom hahaha
Person3: Naughtis Tortoise, why you got to be acting sus like that
by OatmealUser January 03, 2022