"The 'speed' of the Internet --- i.e., how long web-pages take to 'load' and/or respond to you mouse-clicks --- will be in direct inverse proportion to how urgently you need to view the desired material; the connection will be even slower at times there's someone else waiting for you who's also in a hurry.
My buddy needed me to hastily Google engine-bolt-torquing specs during an emergency-repair task he was struggling to get done before a downpour, but the Web was "slower dan molasses runnin' uphill in da wintertime" --- it was a classic "Murphy's Law of Internet-Speed" scenario!
by QuacksO July 28, 2018
"You can 'watch 'n' observe' as carefully as you please while driving and you will still miss your turn-off, and so no amount of continued 'Oh, I'm sure it's just around the next curve" tootling further down the road will bring you to it. But if you do actually decide to turn around and go back to see if you did inadvertently pass your desired intersection, it will of course NOT be 'back there', and you will subsequently find out that you'd been within just a few hundred yards of it at the point when you'd turned around, and so you simply wasted gas and time by backtracking; it had indeed been 'just around the next corner', and so you'd have reached it the first time if you simply hadn't been so gol-durned impatient."
I missed my turn-off during a road-trip because I was carefully watching out for traffic and thus never noticed the side-road I wanted --- classic case of Murphy's Law of Intersections!
by QuacksO May 18, 2019
"If you have to request assistance/advice from a store/office-employee, you will be obliged to wander all over da place and "search till Doomsday" to find someone who is not presently too occupied to listen to you. Yet once you finally receive your answer, THEN there will be ABSOLUTE MULTITUDES OF PERSONNEL just lounging around and making themselves available, and so you will feel like a total JACKA** for not having simply waited a few more minutes to ask your question, rather than wearing out your feet and legs from running all over da shop to find someone to ask!"
I spent over five minutes scampering up and down the aisles at Wally-World trying to find a "free" employee to ask about the availability of a certain product, but then afterwards, there were several non-busy staffpeople whom I met en-route back to my shopping-cart whom I could have asked just as easily at that point --- talk about a classic case of Murphy's Law of Staff-Availability! :P :P
by QuacksO August 26, 2019
"A device that you're repairing will operate **absolutely perfectly** while you have it taken apart to work on it, but then when you get it all put back together and have all the cabinet-screws re-inserted, THAT'S when the device will decide not to work again."
To lessen the chance of getting "bitten" by Murphy's Law of Post-repair Reassembly, one should double-check everything on a refurbished device before putting it back together again.
by QuacksO March 08, 2019
"You can sit around at home till Doomsday and the prices at the pumps will stay fairly low, incessantly tempting you to travel. But the moment you decide to take off somewhere and head out on your trip, the price for a gallon of gas will go right through the roof!"
Gas-prices seemed fairly "stable" all summer, and so I delayed a road-trip for a while to "save up" or "accumulate" a number of errands so that hopefully my trip would be more cost-effective with regards to gas-consumption, but then when I stopped to fill up my tank in the morning when I was first heading out, the price had suddenly jumped over a quarter higher per gallon! Sounds like a classic case of "Murphy's Law of Gasoline Prices" to me!
by QuacksO September 12, 2019
"You can hold onto something for decades, and neither you nor anyone else will ever have a use for it, but then just as soon as you throw it out, either you will suddenly need it for something, or --- even more 'painful' --- **someone else** will come to you and humbly ask, 'Do you happen to have an extra ___?'" Rrrrrggggghhhhh----!!!
I'd had a couple of old 55-gallon oil-drums stashed in da garage for da past thirty years --- my grampa had given 'em to me when he and Gram were downsizing to move into an assisted-living apartment --- and they'd just sat there and gathered dust in da corner all that time. But then just two days --- TWO STINKIN' DAYS!! --- after I'd sent 'em to da crusher for recycling, a low-income neighbor dropped by and asked me if he could have them to use as burn-barrels --- guess dat was a classic case of Murphy's Law of "Junk" at work!!
by QuacksO July 24, 2018
"If you leave your vehicle's engine running during a delay in proceeding (traffic-jam, road construction, accident-resolution, "stuck" red signal-light, etc.), you will be sitting there for many minutes, just wasting gas. The instant you turn the key off and climb out of your seat to stretch, however, THAT'S when the line of traffic will begin moving again, and thus you will have shut off your engine "for nothing", AND you will now be holding up everyone behind you while you hastily hop back into the driver's seat and re-start the engine so that you can move forward again."
I finally took da plunge and bought a second-hand Toyota Prius because I'd eventually had one too many cases of Murphy's Law of Engine-Idling Duration... the Prius automatically shuts down its power during stand-stills, and then uses its electric motor to provide instant mobility as soon as you're ready to go again.
by QuacksO October 21, 2018