Jalapeno Handy

When a person slathers their hands with jalapeno and gives you a hand job. Usually a last resort after a person loses sensation in their penis as they age.

After 5 hours of brutal sex, she had to give him a jalapeno handy to get him to go home.

by Kattyblaque September 5, 2021

jalapeno hot pocket

Female masturbation using a medium sized Jalapeno or other hot pepper.

Friend: "Mary told me about this great new way to flick my bean the other day called the jalapeno hot pocket"
Friend 2: "She told me too, she said it's important to make sure it doesn't break off inside"
see also Cajun Cunnilingus

by Cajun Crusader April 20, 2018

figtree and jalapeno

2 people who are in love and they can't not be in love because they are stuck together

figtree and jalapeno love eacgother so much

by asdfghjasdfghjasdfvbnm November 14, 2023

Jalapeno Enema

1. An alternate way of saying "pain in my ass".
2. A devious method of torture.
The name can be substituted in either case with hotter or weaker peppers to further articulate the intensity.

1. "This whole day has been one big Jalapeno Enema."
2. "I was kidnapped in Mexico and the cartels gave me a Jalapeno Enema while my family tried to come up with the ransom payment."

by Eleven Tails February 21, 2020

jalapeno deep

Bad-ass band with a Latin rock-dance sound but for some unknown reason seems relegated to playing at local supermarkets and big box stores.

Dude, your sound is dope! Record label-ready, not so much; but jalapeno deep all the way!!!

by Ginger loves steak July 4, 2016

Mongolian Jalapeno Hot-Knocker

The time period just before prarie dogging when you first feel a poop coming on. Particularly after having Hu-Hot Mongolian with a boat load of Jalapenos.

on the phone "Hey Jim, I gotta let you go; I got a Mongolian Jalapeno Hot-knocker"

by Hurts 2 Poop May 15, 2019

Jalapeno Rimjob

The act of giving/ receiving a rimjob when all party members involved have recently eaten taco bell.

Hey Kim, after eating this delicious smothered burrito, you wanna smother my ***hole with a jalapeno rimjob?

by buttslutt October 23, 2016