Mop the Carpet

The sexual act of ejaculating onto a females pubic hair, then proceeding to spread it around with your penis.

Andrea let Grant mop the carpet for her last night.

by magicmike11 February 25, 2014

Carpet Treatment

Carpet Treatment is when you knock some punk, smart mouth, bastard on the ground and he lies there on the carpet until his brain restarts.

I swear to God if you don't shut your mouth you're going to end up getting the "carpet treatment".

by Sorjones March 21, 2009

arse carpet

the hair in a mans arse crack

Ewww I can see your arse carpet sticking out the top of your pants.

by Carolyn Bak October 24, 2006

licking carpet

The act of one lesbian licking another lesbians vagina.

Maggie: 'What were you doing last night then Lizzie, you look really tired...'
Lizzie: 'I was up licking carpet all night... And I only got $20 for it!'

by Allan Scott June 4, 2007

Carpet kisser

A derogatory term referring to someone of Arab descent, who kisses carpets in the process of praying Alah and hopes for death to America.

That carpet kisser over there was definitely involved 9/11

by redtcslak69 July 23, 2010

Carpet Camping

To bury ones face in the crotch of a woman with large amounts of pubic hair.

Dude when the car broke down in the woods, it got really cold. So I went carpet camping in Maria's bush for warmth and comfort.

by Drunkwraith May 17, 2006

The Carpet Is Lava

A phrase to remind women that, much like the boogey man, Duane & BrandO are lurking under their beds, in their closets, and -mainly- in the lava known as carpet.

1) "The carpet is lava, bitch!"
2) "You'd better watch your step, Ashleigh. You know the carpet is lava..."
3) You should probably vacuum the lava some time. It's looking pretty carpety.

by dishesdoer August 27, 2009