Pork Scotch Jacket

A snot-coloured hi-viz jacket worn by fat ugly security guards who are terrified of rain. The Pork Scotch Jacket will be worn whatever the weather because the slightest bit of rain is a complete catastrophe to the fat bastard who cries himself to sleep wishing he was back in South Africa where his boyfriends live.

What's this fat old twat wearing? Looks like an overcoat made of snot.

Its a Pork Scotch Jacket. Although its a hundred degrees in the shade there's still a chance a drop of rain might come along to ruin the fat ugly bastard's year.

by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 6, 2009

Pork Scotch's Cone

A cone wrongly stolen by Pork Scotch that he once used to keep a space for his small white van outside his house while he went out in it because he thinks he is important because he's a security guard (EVEN more important than Shit Stained Schumachers you know). Because he had no right to do it, I moved it so that a car would park there. When he got back the look of shock on the ugly bastards face was phenomenal when he saw that a car had parked there. With a usual grumpy look on his face, he moved it onto the front of the house. He works from 6pm to 6am so at 10 we put it in a bin bag and took it onto another road an left it on the back of a Maltby lorry. In the morning, he was looking all over the place for his beloved cone with a mad look of disbelief. Looks like he'll never see his cone again. Poor Porky!

SWYTHEERBRIDGE: Whats that orange thing on the back of the Maltby lorry?

MONK AND DAD: That's Pork Scotch's Cone.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 4, 2009

Pork Scotch Pants

Discusting Tartan Boxer shorts that smell like shit. The only reason anyone knows that he wears these is because he came out of the bathroom in the morning while I was witing for the toilet and he had nothing on besides these. He seemed very embarassed and ran as fast as the little man could. When I walked in I realised why he was embarassed and ran to his room. The toilet stank like the worst pile of shit ever created. I ran straight back out. I used a pint of Air freshener and could still smell it at the bottom of the stairs.

ME: You'll never guess what I just saw.

DAD: What?

ME: Lets call them Pork Scotch pants. He came out of the bathroom and ran to his room wearing Tartan boxers. The bathroom stank!

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 12, 2009

Pork Scotch Pizzas

The greatest pizza topping in the world but unfortunately not sold by any pizza place. If you phone up a pizza place and ask for this fine pizza the 'hard working' dickhead will say "sorry mate we dont do that one." Rather than asking what is on it and making a sale. The Pork Scotch pizza is loved by fat, old, arseholes of security guards, mainly Pork Scotch himself. The topping is pork pieces in a thick gravy sauce.

MANLY GIRLFRIEND: I'm ordering Italian tonight. What do you want Max?

MAX: Just 3 Pork Scotch pizzas please.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 11, 2009

Pork Scotch Keys

A huge set of keys that make someone that is truly as important as a little fat security guard look as important as they actually are. Never seen without the holder wearing some Pork Scotch Shades and a gay Dickurity Guard uniform.

Flonkule: Hi Dad, I see the Scotcher is here.

Dad: Yeah I saw him earlier witha set of Pork Scotch Keys. They make him look so important.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick June 18, 2009

pork osaurous

Obese person of riduculous girth. Not gender specific.

Also giant pork osaurous - for the really big ones.

There was a herd of giant pork osaurous grazing at the all you can eat buffet.

by wheaty June 2, 2005

Pork Horse

1) A favorable term for a bar or club with a lot of ass in it.

2) Derogatory term for a small dog that barks a lot.

1) We went down to that new club. It turned out to be a real pork horse. There was ass all over the place.
2) My dads dog is a real pork horse. His legs are short so he tries to jump up on me all the time.

by Mr. Krull September 14, 2009