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Murphy’s law

When a woman give a fellatio to a man after consuming potential barf material and end up puking on the man’s shaft
« Man , Jessica showed me what Murphy’s law was last night »
by Canadiah December 12, 2019
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Murphy's Law of Foul-Weather Gear

"If you 'prepare for the worst' by bringing along extra jackets/gloves, an umbrella, etc., then the skies will be sunny and mild all the time you're 'out 'n' about'. But if you decide to leave all that stuff behind at home and set out on your trip in just your ordinary street-clothes, there'll be a bleepin' MONSOON or HURRICANE!
The morning started out kinda overcast and nippy, so I brought an umbrella, thick hoodie-jacket, and gloves with me when I set out to run some errands around town. Well, naturally, once I got a fair distance from home and thus I didn't wanna traipse all the way back to put everything away again, the sun came out and the day got really warm, and so I was just feverishly lugging all that extra stuff around with me for nothing... classic case of "Murphy's Law of Foul-Weather Gear", I guess.
by QuacksO May 18, 2019
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Murphy's Law of YouTube Ads

"You can sit and watch a documentary-video on YouTube for extended periods with little or no advertisement-interruption, but then just as soon as you turn up da speaker-volume and go into da next room to take a dump, a whole bunch of ads will come along and you'll hafta endure listening mostly to them while yer poopin', rather than da video-commentary you'd wanted to hear.
Due in large part to da pesky "Murphy's Law of YouTube Ads", a few more-affluent citizens who live alone actually hire a full-or-part-time "Jeeves" for da sole purpose of being an ad-skip assistant.
by QuacksO October 26, 2025
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Murphy's Law of "Junk"

"You can hold onto something for decades, and neither you nor anyone else will ever have a use for it, but then just as soon as you throw it out, either you will suddenly need it for something, or --- even more 'painful' --- **someone else** will come to you and humbly ask, 'Do you happen to have an extra ___?'" Rrrrrggggghhhhh----!!!
I'd had a couple of old 55-gallon oil-drums stashed in da garage for da past thirty years --- my grampa had given 'em to me when he and Gram were downsizing to move into an assisted-living apartment --- and they'd just sat there and gathered dust in da corner all that time. But then just two days --- TWO STINKIN' DAYS!! --- after I'd sent 'em to da crusher for recycling, a low-income neighbor dropped by and asked me if he could have them to use as burn-barrels --- guess dat was a classic case of Murphy's Law of "Junk" at work!!
by QuacksO July 24, 2018
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Murphy's Law Of Windshield-Damage

"You can leave a pitted/abraded/scratched/bubbled/discolored windshield in your car till 0%!$@&# Doomsday and it will never get hit, but then just as soon as you actually REPLACE said "ancient" glass wif a brand new one, THAT'S when you'll get a bleepin' BIG OL' PEBBLE tossed up by a passing vehicle, and star-crack your nice shiny-fresh windshield all to Hell!"
After several years I eventually got sick and tired of all da misty triplex-haze on my car's original-from-the-factory windshield, and so I finally replaced it --- wouldn't you know that the VERY NEXT DAY it got a huge crack in it after a rock got thrown up by the wheel of a passing dump-truck! Ahhhhrrrggggghhhhh... classic case of Murphy's Law Of Windshield-Damage, I guess!!
by QuacksO July 31, 2018
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Murphy's Law of Staff-Availability

"If you have to request assistance/advice from a store/office-employee, you will be obliged to wander all over da place and "search till Doomsday" to find someone who is not presently too occupied to listen to you. Yet once you finally receive your answer, THEN there will be ABSOLUTE MULTITUDES OF PERSONNEL just lounging around and making themselves available, and so you will feel like a total JACKA** for not having simply waited a few more minutes to ask your question, rather than wearing out your feet and legs from running all over da shop to find someone to ask!"
I spent over five minutes scampering up and down the aisles at Wally-World trying to find a "free" employee to ask about the availability of a certain product, but then afterwards, there were several non-busy staffpeople whom I met en-route back to my shopping-cart whom I could have asked just as easily at that point --- talk about a classic case of Murphy's Law of Staff-Availability! :P :P
by QuacksO August 26, 2019
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Murphy's Law of Engine-Idling Duration

"If you leave your vehicle's engine running during a delay in proceeding (traffic-jam, road construction, accident-resolution, "stuck" red signal-light, etc.), you will be sitting there for many minutes, just wasting gas. The instant you turn the key off and climb out of your seat to stretch, however, THAT'S when the line of traffic will begin moving again, and thus you will have shut off your engine "for nothing", AND you will now be holding up everyone behind you while you hastily hop back into the driver's seat and re-start the engine so that you can move forward again."
I finally took da plunge and bought a second-hand Toyota Prius because I'd eventually had one too many cases of Murphy's Law of Engine-Idling Duration... the Prius automatically shuts down its power during stand-stills, and then uses its electric motor to provide instant mobility as soon as you're ready to go again.
by QuacksO October 20, 2018
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