(noun, pl.) A completely masturbatory work of high school fiction, used by college admissions officials as psyops tests in order to evaluate your personality. These, on college applications, are better left blank, so long as your GPA, SAT, and other tests are in your advantage. Otherwise, sarcastic embellishment is usually required, in the form of a Hail Mary Pass.
Tom: So, how did you do on your college applications?
Michael: Great! I got accepted at all four of my picks, plus the University of Miami, and I didn't even apply there!
Tom: Wow! What did you write for your College essays? I couldn't think of anything but massive bullshit.
Michael: Oh, that's okay. They prolly didn't even read yours. I left all of mine blank, and they didn't care.
Tom: Well, you were a great student.
Michael: It's okay for you though, you just need to choose a less exclusive major.
Michael: Great! I got accepted at all four of my picks, plus the University of Miami, and I didn't even apply there!
Tom: Wow! What did you write for your College essays? I couldn't think of anything but massive bullshit.
Michael: Oh, that's okay. They prolly didn't even read yours. I left all of mine blank, and they didn't care.
Tom: Well, you were a great student.
Michael: It's okay for you though, you just need to choose a less exclusive major.
by ssppuunn January 25, 2014
Get the College essays mug.an excuse commonly used (esp. by males) to justify locking ones self in a room (often bedroom) for the purpose of fulfilling ones daily masturbational quota/to listen to speed garage.
by Rib March 30, 2004
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The "sickness" one suffers from when he did not complete an essay or project for school to evade a zero from not having the project complete.
Wow. The book report is due today. There are eight students in Mr. George's class that are out. Could be essayitis.
by Agent111111111 April 12, 2005
Get the essayitis mug.A message sent in a discord that tries way too hard to be complex and deep while surrounded by comedic messages.
Person 1: yeah i like fortnite, it's pretty fun
Person 2: fortnite is a TRASH poopy game
Person 3: Playing fortnite.... brings back so many memories. I can't express how much fortnite means to me, trinkets and all. When I hit the start button, it instantly warps me to a world where my cares evaporate into stupefaction. When I see jonesy pop up on my screen.... tears flow. Countless memories with this timeless game.
Person 1: what
Person 2: goddamnit he wrote another trinkets essay
Person 2: fortnite is a TRASH poopy game
Person 3: Playing fortnite.... brings back so many memories. I can't express how much fortnite means to me, trinkets and all. When I hit the start button, it instantly warps me to a world where my cares evaporate into stupefaction. When I see jonesy pop up on my screen.... tears flow. Countless memories with this timeless game.
Person 1: what
Person 2: goddamnit he wrote another trinkets essay
by pizzaman362 October 24, 2019
Get the trinkets essay mug.by IRVINE ! December 8, 2003
Get the Anchor Essay mug.-"Hey, wanna go out tonight and grab some brewskies?"
-"Sorry man, I'm essaying all night. It's 2000 words, and it's due in the morning."
-"Sorry man, I'm essaying all night. It's 2000 words, and it's due in the morning."
by youtube.com/loser078 March 24, 2008
Get the essaying mug.A short piece of writing with an average of 5 paragraphs that school children write to improve their experience in writing, grammar and reasoning. They get annoying and laborious once you reach middle school.
The topics that teachers give their students for essays are usually boring and irrelevant topics that are more enjoyable for adults, and sometimes they are actually some of the most impractical subjects to write an essay on.
The most common type is the argumentative essay. The total amount of written material from every argumentative essay a child has had to write that does nothing to enhance their knowledge or skill would probably rival that of the Marvel Universe, DC Universe, Star Wars Universe and Old and New Testament combined. I honestly think it's why kids get so pissed on the internet; because they've been trained to react defiantly to any sort of controversy. I usually title my argumentative essays with "Argumentative Essay Number" followed by a massive number like 40 billion or something.
The topics that teachers give their students for essays are usually boring and irrelevant topics that are more enjoyable for adults, and sometimes they are actually some of the most impractical subjects to write an essay on.
The most common type is the argumentative essay. The total amount of written material from every argumentative essay a child has had to write that does nothing to enhance their knowledge or skill would probably rival that of the Marvel Universe, DC Universe, Star Wars Universe and Old and New Testament combined. I honestly think it's why kids get so pissed on the internet; because they've been trained to react defiantly to any sort of controversy. I usually title my argumentative essays with "Argumentative Essay Number" followed by a massive number like 40 billion or something.
by UsefulInfoBeing June 2, 2016
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