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accountant

The chosen occupation of the dullest people you will ever know. Enticed to this career solely by the prospect of financial gain and security, yet not brave enough to advance to the somewhat more respectable and risky (yet at least.. more exciting) field of finance, a person who chose to be an accountant is a boring syncophantic moron (see: tool) who essentially decided to do the most boring job in the world because he or she was scared of committing to anything else.
Nobody is ever "passionate" about accounting. Anybody who says that he or she is passionate is basically a fucking goddamn bullshitting liar.

Ex. Ricky chose to be an accountant because he thought he wouldn't get hired for anything else. He now works for PwC and is fucking boring as hell. Ugh, having to be around him and listen to him talk is like being strangled and having to die a very slow and painful death.
by OneWhoSpeaksTheTruths February 7, 2012
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An Accountant

A nerdy person who counts things and is often the hero in dumb action movies.
Sam, can you crack the code?
No? Then I'll call THE ACCOUNTANT!
by MrRadman11 July 12, 2005
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Accountant Personality Disorder

Inability to think outside of the box. Inability to reason either deductively or inductively. Excessive reliance on patterns and rote memorization of rules or facts. Complete inability to recognize or acknowledge various viewpoints, which contributes to difficulty separating fact from opinion.
Person: "What is two plus two?"
Accountant: "I don't remember."
Person: "What do you have Accountant Personality Disorder or something? Just add them together."
by RickC84 October 8, 2013
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Emotional accountant

Everyone's favorite person in time of emotional outburst.
The one with wisdom, philosophy and patience who will listen to you and try his/her best, and usually succeed in making you calm and composed again.

And would probably make a balance sheet of your emotions before wandering away, till you try to find him/her next.

Generally doesn't charge you for service provided.
Dude 1: Look at Mike, he's everyone's emotional accountant.
Dude 2: Yeah I saw Kelly crying on his shoulders yesterday after her break up with Chad.
by bluejay24 August 23, 2010
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Chartered Accountant

An extremely dull person. Experts describe them as appallingly dull fellows, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour, tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful.
Person A: Katie Bennetts is a fully qualified chartered accountant.

Person B: haha - I KNOW!
by anon d1ckhead February 23, 2010
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Accountant

easy ass major. made for those who don't like or can't study. You see those kids partying their way through college and getting knocked up/STDs/wasted every night? Chances are they are an accountant. Or a just a psychology major.
Dan: Damnnn I'm so drunk and high right now, I guess I'll skip class tomorrow.

Tim: You're in school?! I thought you were like a dropout or something.

Dan: Naw man, I'm an accountant!!

Tim: Oh. That explains it.
by Shanaynayinyoface December 18, 2011
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following_flop_accounts

following_flop_accounts has took the music industry by storm by droppingCircle The Drain” (ft.CupcaKKe). following_flop_accounts is dropping a new song this friday!!!
following_flop_accounts took over the music industry by droppingCircle The Drain” (ft.CupcaKKe
by arianagrande_cum_eater August 19, 2021
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