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marshall bigley

An overly sized 8th grader thats a dick
by blatblatblat666 April 7, 2017
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The bible

A religious text. Whether or not it’s fictional or non fictional is... up to you.

Lots of people like to throw it up at others in an attempt to ground their own bigoted beliefs, usually flipping to one page and then claiming it as evidence of something when really, it’s just a bunch of words made for a religion. Can you try not to, I don’t know, not attempt to weaponize religion? Who knows what you’ll get up to after cyberbullying children for liking the same gender.

Of course, not every Christian is like this, and assuming they all are is only stooping down to the worst ones’ levels. Assume the best out of everyone and you may just teach someone a valuable lesson ^^
Religious asshole: the Holy Lord God has said that passing your own body to others for sex is a sin and you’re going to go to hell; Asexuality is a sin because you cannot have any children according to Jesus; gayness is illegal according to some random quote from some random guy; all of this is in the Bible therefore I am correct

Decent person with common sense, religious or not religious: The Bible is a book, not a wikia. Jesus was asexual. His best friend was a prostitute. The whole “man shall not lay with boy” is, in fact, against pedophilia, and not against homosexuality. Of course, since you’re a “devout Christian”, you likely already knew this, right? Considering you probably read through the whole thing and all. I hope you have, otherwise who knows? You might wake up tomorrow morning with the room a little hotter than it was the night before.
by Some Friendly Gay Loser January 3, 2021
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The Bible

The funniest comedy of the millennium, due to the ridiculous actions, thought processes, and mindsets and beliefs held by the main character, God, and the absurdist nature of the events that happen throughout the story.
Person 1: Did you read the Bible today?
Person 2: *recalls Exodus 4:24-26 and other funny verses*

Also Person 2: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Person 2 Yet Again: Yeah, it was hilarious.
Person 1: Funniest thing I've ever read.
by Alex Zer0 March 10, 2021
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Coom Bible

An meme/good atheist alternative to the actual bible. It's just a list of meme definitions.
Man 1: I believe in the Coom Bible, amen.
Man 2: Yeah I read the Coom Bible every night.
by Sapphic Tree Dick April 18, 2021
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Pocket Bible

North Carolina slang for penis, often used by politicians.
"Oh Stephen, I feel passion and desire and would like to feel you pocket bible in my hands"
by johnnyjr May 1, 2022
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bible thumper

1. A good christian/catholic person who lives by the rules of the bible and does not pick the parts of the bible that suit him/her the most. Is often ridiculed for the above.
2. What gay and non christian people call everyone who believes in what the bible says.
1.Person1: Gee that guy is so good he is going to heaven for sure.
Person two: I hate that bible thumper!
2.Person1: I don't think gay people should be married becuase...
Person2: You are like, such a bible thumper!
by Christopher Mckay April 9, 2006
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Amanda Maria Bihlear

1. The most beautiful girl on the planet.
2. The girl of my dreams.
3. Has the perfect body, smile, and personality to fit my lifestyle.
4. The girl i want to be with for the rest of my life.
5. I LOVE YOU BABY<3.
AMANDA MARIA BIHLEAR <3 ZACHARY ARTHUR ROBINSON
by Z.A.R.<3 November 27, 2011
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