Phil May

He’s beautiful. You can’t even deny he’s absolutely gorgeous. So visually pleasing you just wanna shit yourself. Why would you be threatened by his proposal to make love to you? You’d like that, I guarantee it. If you try to deny it, you’re so far deep in the closet you’re finding Christmas presents. 119%.

You would convert to the other team for him. You would. He is the most gorgeous thing - you should feel FORTUNATE enough to lay your weary eyes on. Just shut up. Right now. Immediately. After long and careful consideration and hours of thought, your opinion has been deemed INVALID. Phil May is beautiful. PERIOD.

Did I stutter? No. You did not hear me stutter. Phil may is the most insanely pleasurable creature to ever walk the face of the earth. He is the reason my gay best friend is gay. Any straight man who claims to like boobies would lay their eyes on my beautiful Phil once and switch sides faster than a weak minded person switching to veganism after being guilt tripped by Instagram sluts.

Do you ever have gay thoughts? I know you do. And they all involve Phil May. If I hear you utter one last negative thing about Phil May, you will shut up. You just will. I will not tolerate Phil May slander in any public setting. Or private setting for that matter. Fuck you. Just fuck off. Phil May is the most gorgeous mythical thing to ever exist in this universe. You should feel FORTUNATE to have lived in the same time as this wonderful beauty. FORTUNATE. Sex with Phil May. Now.

Whenever I send photos of this mysterious male damsel, you are DROOLING at the mouth. Actual warm saliva formulating within the glans of your mouth, wishing your tongue was down Phil May’s throat. Yes. Yes you. You who insulted my sweet love, Phil. You’re just a closeted Phil-kisser. You want to make out with him. Yeah. Accept the harsh reality. RIGHT NOW.

by titty69muncher August 17, 2024

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Get the Phil Maymug.

Phil Light

Any sort of light source being held by a person. It is especially true if your name just so happens to be Phil.

Can I get a Phil light?

by ElronHubbard January 11, 2020

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Get the Phil Lightmug.

pen1s91 (aka phil)

a very cool nice person that makes me happy

whenever she talks to me i smile she makes me so happy whenever you talk to them you melt

unknown: oh you talked to pen1s91 (aka phil) today? that’s why your face is all red

you: yeah

by koda78 February 25, 2021

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Get the pen1s91 (aka phil)mug.

phil heimerl

The best news reporter ever! He works for the True North Radio Network, which is on throughout Northern Michigan. He is bald and says his name like this. "Hi, I'm Phil Heimrooooool"

Friend "Phil Heimerl is great"
Me "I know!"

by Dx Pussy Eater February 10, 2018

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