Turd Burglar

n: One who repeatedly trys to open a locked bathroom stall door
I was minding my own business when the office VP came and kept trying to get into my stall! What a Turd Burglar!
by Ryan Shizzle March 14, 2003
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absurd turd

1. a very large poo
2. a very small poo when expecting much more
I didn;t even realize I had to shat, and next thing you know I had an absurd turd. It was bigger than a baby, my poo baby!
by Bud E Love May 14, 2003
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turd sandwich

A presidential canidate.

A Zei Kirin.
Bush is a total turd sandwich.

Billy, stop being a turd sandwich (Zei Kirin).
by TYME PART 2 November 05, 2004
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Turd Burglar

Someone that comes into the bathroom and tries to open an occupied bathroom stall.
"I was having a nice shit when I was interrupted by a Turd Burglar, so I coughed to scare him away".
by iceman26 March 09, 2007
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turd banger

Commonly used as a derogatory term to a person (or animal), a "turd banger" is one who literally bangs turds.

By definition, all male homosexuals are turd bangers.
Lee, you're such a turd banger!
by Turd Unbanger October 27, 2007
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turd charmer

A turd charmer is one of a few highly trained members of a secret turd-charming sect that you can go to in India to deal with those stubborn turds one gets from time to time. When the turd charmer plays, the turd is animated and is summoned by the music of the flute.
It was months since I had last shat...I went to the best doctors money could buy. The doctors ran many tests on me, but finally concluded that current technology was not yet ready to handle my problem. Their analysis determined that my turd had been highly compacted under the immense pressure. It hardened to a degree it was 20x stronger than even carbon nanotubes. A general from Area 51 offered me a billion dollars if i'd let them research my turd, but I declined. Alas, there was nowhere to turd but the turd charmers of India. I was skeptical at first, but I took a place to Sri Lanka and walked through long stretches of desert until I at last came to one of the last remaining turd charmers. He made a deal--He would help me, but in return he got to keep my turd. I was reluctant at first, but i realized it was that or death. I bent over and he played his flute. I felt a rumbling from deep within my bowels, and i was terrified. My turd was animated by his amazing flute skills, it slowly emerged. The turd charmer was in a trance and did not notice the turd angrily staring at him. My turd turned it's direction towards me for a quick glance, then immediately set out into the sunset where it was never seen from or heard from again.
by Dark Lord of the Anus May 07, 2005
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abort a turd

The act of expelling a shit early, before it is naturally ready to be given birth to. Such an act results in excrutiating pain and usually an increase in blood pressure, rather than the euphoric sensation experienced when dropping a turd as nature planned.
Christ on a bike, that curry last night was so hot I had to abort a turd, it absolutely killed!
by Nigel Fleming July 09, 2006
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