junk tug

This is when a dude get his junk tugged by another person as a form of torment, torture, retaliation, or punishment. Not something performed by your comrades! Akin to it's distant cousin the junk punch this act distinctly involves the member directly and not the adjacent coin purse, and may be augmented by a lateral jerk or twist.

As I got out of the shower my wife was bent over blow drying her hair I smacked her ass. She did not approve so she reached through her legs and gave me a junk tug to let me know.

by Bloody Snotbubble August 7, 2011

both hands on my junk

A phrase used to indicate that one is more than competent to deal with a situation and, frankly, they've got this shit handled.

Don't worry about it.

"Well, sounds like you've got it handled."

"OH, I'M HANDLING IT WITH BOTH HANDS ON MY JUNK!"

by lol_words October 3, 2018

Junk Sleep

Poor quality sleep that makes you feel more tired than well-rested.

"Keep calling Kevin, Keith? That's Junk Sleep."

by Matty Firm May 31, 2022

Murphy's Law of "Junk"

"You can hold onto something for decades, and neither you nor anyone else will ever have a use for it, but then just as soon as you throw it out, either you will suddenly need it for something, or --- even more 'painful' --- **someone else** will come to you and humbly ask, 'Do you happen to have an extra ___?'" Rrrrrggggghhhhh----!!!

I'd had a couple of old 55-gallon oil-drums stashed in da garage for da past thirty years --- my grampa had given 'em to me when he and Gram were downsizing to move into an assisted-living apartment --- and they'd just sat there and gathered dust in da corner all that time. But then just two days --- TWO STINKIN' DAYS!! --- after I'd sent 'em to da crusher for recycling, a low-income neighbor dropped by and asked me if he could have them to use as burn-barrels --- guess dat was a classic case of Murphy's Law of "Junk" at work!!

by QuacksO July 24, 2018

Shake your junk

Alternate phrase for male stripping. Essentially describes the nude dancing and hip thrusts guys sometimes do for pathetic amounts of money. Often used to confront or belittle guys, jokingly or otherwise, about being strippers.

"You can't accuse me of having a bad job while you just shake your junk for 5 dollars an hour."

Colin: "Does Jake have a job?"
Ben: "Yeah. He's a stripper."
Jake: "What? No I'm not!"
Ben: "Dont lie, Jake. We all know you shake your junk in that place on Preston road."

by Elsis May 16, 2016

useless junk

Random shit that lies around that nobody has any particular use for. Often leading to the phrase "it might come in handy". Potential sign of a closet hoarder.

Mike: Why have you got a load of monopoly pieces without a board?
John: Oh its just some useless junk. It might come in handy some day.

by imaliltpot September 19, 2015

Mad dogs junk removal

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by Stubss April 24, 2021