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Emotional Masturbation

Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite rmark from another
Nicholas: I'm fat
Bob: Yes you are, I'm not falling for that Emotional Masturbation
Nicholas: *Cries olive oil tears*
by d_Firefox_b March 7, 2023
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precation masturbation

The act of masturbating the day before a long vacation to avoid the urge to touch oneself in close proximity to friends and/or family members.
I've made our reservations, packed our bags, and had my precation masturbation session. I am totally ready for this trip!
by RonnieRon February 6, 2017
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masturbation and porn

when a man sucks a pussy and when a old man watches hot girls unwrap there bikinis.
Joe saw masturbation and porn each fucking minute on pornhub and zoom.
by timmy the fat nigger February 9, 2022
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mobile masturbating

When you masturbate in a moving vehicle, may be done as either driver or passenger
Hanging out with my friends got me so horny I did a little mobile masturbating on the way home to relieve myself.
by Tonksalot September 14, 2018
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Vestal Masturbation

One of the most notorious heavy metal t shirts in history, Cradle of Filth's "Vestal Masturbation" depicts a nude nun pleasuring herself on the front, with the phrase "Jesus Is A Cunt" written in large letters on the back.
His parents were outraged to find out that he had been kicked out of school for wearing his Vestal Masturbation t shirt.
by LemmyForever December 19, 2021
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Lazy Masturbation

The act of resting your hands in your pants and holding your genitals or butt, usually absentmindedly. It is usually mildly pleasurable, but is not done to get off.
"Woah, why do you have your hand in your pants?"
"I was just bored and starting doing some lazy masturbation."
by JaxMP August 8, 2018
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intellectual masturbation

Reading or hearing something one does not understand and dismissing it as useless, calling it "philosophy" as an insult, then falling for every media pronouncement and logical fallacy as being profound or meaningful.
Ayn: To love is to value.

Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.

Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.

Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.
by Patriot-X April 25, 2010
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