Emotional Masturbation

Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite rmark from another

Nicholas: I'm fat
Bob: Yes you are, I'm not falling for that Emotional Masturbation
Nicholas: *Cries olive oil tears*

by d_Firefox_b March 7, 2023

oregon masturbator

Infamous public masturbator in Oregon.

Magbots is the Oregon masturbator.

by Podesta XD June 9, 2018

mind-masturbating

To mind-fuck oneself, often in succession; lubrication offered by drugs, alcohol, etc.

I'm mind masturbating to string theory right now.

John's Girlfriend: "Hey, want to come over?"
John: "Hold on a second, I'm finishing up mind-masturbating to Stephen Hawking talking about quantum physics and the theory of multiverses. Oh yeah, oh yeah..."
John's Girlfriend: "Oh."

by TH3 BL4NK October 6, 2012

email masturbate

The act of sending yourself an email.

Can I use your computer to email masturbate? I need to remind myself of something for tomorrow.

by fbunky November 14, 2013

gravitational masturbation

When u jerk off and jump repeatedly while screaming "IM IN SPACEEE" before cumming all over the planets

Guy: dude i masturbated last night and it was one of those gravitational masturbation ones and I nutted all over the solar system

Dude: I nutted all over my neighbors roof last night and had to spend a day in prison

by looneylobs August 5, 2017

Big Masturbation

The forces at work trying to make me watch porn and play with my innocent Christian penis. The sex industry equivalent of Big Pharma

Me: Big Masturbation has no impact on me. I don't even do pre-marital handholding
My penis: Get PornHub Premium

by FuzzyDanglers April 23, 2020

status masturbation

When you get off on liking your own post on social media!

My status masturbation is on point!

by Polemuncher May 14, 2016