Soft cactus

A penis with no hair

I had sex with a soft cactus last night

by Big or pe May 22, 2020

Lewis Cactus

twitter sensation and niall moran’s worst nightmare

“who is bendy’s father again?”

“his name is Lewis Cactus”

by lewis3i May 28, 2020

Watermelon Cactus

A name for a band that I wanted in 5th grade but none of my friends liked it so then I got mad at them. I immediately forgave them, but it is the reason that I left the band. It wasn't serious though. I was a dumb kid.

Me: Can we have the band called Watermelon Cactus?
Friends: That sucks, no!

by skulls_n_roses November 17, 2020

Bumhole Cactus

Variety of cactus, almost certain to cause immense pain upon any interaction. Visual contact or distant sound from a Bumhole Cactus can trigger immediate physical response. Pain triggers particular in the sphincter region, sexual organs may recede. Prolonged exposure will result in questioning reasons for living.

First day and the Bumhole Cactus was asking for new shit.

by The Real Talkie Toaster February 9, 2021

chickenshit caucus

Congressional cowards who live in terror of a congealed marmalade hairball’s mood swings. Willing to deny reality rather than defy a sociopath or acolytes of a sociopath.

“Not exactly a surprise, the chickenshit caucus let Trump off again.”
“Damn, they’ll lick the crap off the boot on their own necks.”

by weblizard February 13, 2021

Prickly Cactus

A shave that will blow your head off.

Okay, so this girl had a prickly cactus and I got blood all over my chin. I don’t know if that girl was a man or a woman though.

by DrLittleUnderheptoblow April 12, 2021

Screaming Cactus

Someone who is adamant about giving their opinions and honesty. At the same time they refuse to take criticism and default to a defensive mentality when they’re challenged or given advice. Walking hypocrisy.

Example 1:
Partner 1: You need to stop texting at the dinner table, it’s very rude.
Partner 2: You literally have an ipad out and you’re watching the Bachelor.
Parter 1: I DIDN’T GET TO WATCH THE EPISODE LAST NIGHT!
Partner 2: You’re bein a real screaming cactus right now

Example 2:

Partner 1: I don’t appreciate you leaving last night and not coming home, that hurt my feelings
Partner 2: I left because I found out you were cheating on me.
Parter 1: IT’S NOT MY FAULT, YOU WEREN'T GIVING ME ENOUGH ATTENTION!
Partner: You are acting like a screaming cactus

by SpeakEENG May 3, 2021