Jesus rail

n.

The passenger hand rail above the car window. Used by people who can't drive, those who prefer to be in control, or frightened mothers.

(in car, Driver accelerates)

Passenger: Jesus! (holding onto car hand rail for dear life)
Driver: You don't have to hold onto the Jesus rail, I'm doing the speed limit!

Passenger: (holding onto car hand rail, eyes closed)
Driver: Stop holding the Jesus rail, I'm not trying to kill you!

etc.

by SilverGirl78 April 8, 2011

jesus fetish

1. a simp for Jesus, very Catholic maybe too much. Probably very overbearing to talk to.

2. If you have such a fetish, why and please consider seeing a psychiatrist, you sick fuck.

Son: Father, I think I've developed a fetish for our only Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Father: It's great to hear that you have faith in God no-, Wait what?

Son: A Jesus fetish, Father!

Father: What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck out of my house, you're not my son anymore I'm disowning you.

by Kazariiiiiiiiiiii-chan July 2, 2022

raptor jesus

A meme that rose to fame when it was the 900,000th post on 4chan's /b/ (which now has over 40 million posts). Consists of a raptor's head crudely photoshopped onto a picture of Jesus.

Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins.

by adeb December 24, 2007

raptor jesus

Just as jesus was the savior of man raptor jesus did the same for his dinosaur bretheren. See also denver the last dinosaur.

Man Bhudda could take raptor jesus!

by Drew Mcleod June 4, 2005

Tranny Jesus

A Gay Icon that goes by the Pseudonym Conchita Wurst when not preaching to the masses. Closely related to Jesus Christ, the turn of the millenia jewish hippie socialist who taught people not to be assholes. Yet subsequently gets blamed for all the assholes who claim to follow him. Tranny Jesus is sometimes seen as offensive by people with no sense of humor, and homophobes.

I saw a Hottie down at Krispy Kreme, and Good Lord Tranny Jesus I nearly fainted.

by Slim Lyde-Prioleau November 6, 2014

Jesus Downhill

Skiing downhill without turns or other means of slowing down with your arms outstretched to the side like Jesus on the cross. Once you've made it down the hill, your buds will tell you that you are blessed to have made it down without killing yourself and you celebrate with communion by taking a shot of a preferred liquor and a cracker. Then you go back up and do it all over again.

Let's do a Jesus Downhill on that double black diamond run.

by MachHeat April 3, 2010

Jesus baby

When your girlfriend who wont have sex with you is miraculously impregnated.

Guy 1: A fool, I see your lady's bump, ata boy. Guy 2: Well, we havent even done it, guess its a Jesus baby.

by M.S.B. July 29, 2011