noun: person: A Jerk-off Jehova Witness is somebody who only texts or calls you when he's jerking off, and doesn't ever want to actually meet. He is annoying and comes a-knocking at the times that are convenient only to them.
Mike only ever calls me when he's jerking off. I offer to make plans so we can both get off, but something always comes up. He's such a jerk-off jehova. aka. a Jerk-Off Jehova Witness
by R. Tizz-E April 9, 2024
Get the A Jerk-Off Jehova Witness mug.Lisa: „I heard Noah and your boyfriend went to the club last weekend?“
Zoe: „Yes, but Noah said Clemens behaved well and did not talk to any girl at all“
Lisa: „Ok, but can you trust Noah. I think he is a one eye witness.“
Zoe: „You’re right, he’s not trustworthy at all!“
Zoe: „Yes, but Noah said Clemens behaved well and did not talk to any girl at all“
Lisa: „Ok, but can you trust Noah. I think he is a one eye witness.“
Zoe: „You’re right, he’s not trustworthy at all!“
by Samsa559 July 9, 2025
Get the One Eye Witness mug.by witasquid September 12, 2023
Get the Wit mug.by jdjsjssjjsj February 29, 2020
Get the chow wit it mug.Is what you say when someone is leading someone else to a conclusion that they wouldn’t have otherwise drawn without your input. They use this all the time in courtroom dramas and I’ve seen some of those which means I’m technically a layer. No big deal or anything...
Hym “He was clearly NOT going to say ‘wisdom.’ He said ‘FREEDOM’ and was not going to say wisdom until YOU said wisdom. So... Um, leading the witness your honor! That’s the second time in those clips that you did it too! You did it to the other guy too!”
Dr. Moses Aaronson “Wouldn’t you say that the conclusion you’re trying to draw is the conclusion I want you draw and that I already have drawn in the past?”
Professor Junior Senior-Esquire the 3rd “Why YES! I was! I was going to say that! And I was in no way lead to that conclusion by you leading me there! I’m not here to be a sycophantic yes man whose sole purpose is to affirm your subjective interpretation of the Bible!”
Hym “Ha! Ridiculous! I just saved everyone reading this the trouble of watching your Exodus lecture. That’s all it is. You aggregating your cronies to affirm your propositional ethic. ‘God is too perfect for anyone to be around so I, Dr. Jeeple Jorpson, need to act as an intermediary for it’s will! You need the structure I provide because you can’t be trusted to make decisions because you are basically an animal to me! Or worse if you’re Hym!”
Dr. Moses Aaronson “Wouldn’t you say that the conclusion you’re trying to draw is the conclusion I want you draw and that I already have drawn in the past?”
Professor Junior Senior-Esquire the 3rd “Why YES! I was! I was going to say that! And I was in no way lead to that conclusion by you leading me there! I’m not here to be a sycophantic yes man whose sole purpose is to affirm your subjective interpretation of the Bible!”
Hym “Ha! Ridiculous! I just saved everyone reading this the trouble of watching your Exodus lecture. That’s all it is. You aggregating your cronies to affirm your propositional ethic. ‘God is too perfect for anyone to be around so I, Dr. Jeeple Jorpson, need to act as an intermediary for it’s will! You need the structure I provide because you can’t be trusted to make decisions because you are basically an animal to me! Or worse if you’re Hym!”
by Hym Iam November 27, 2022
Get the Um, Leading the witness your honor mug.A person who comes second time to Urban Dictionary, the cesspool drowning people into progressive low life.
by trymyeye May 7, 2018
Get the dim wit mug.You: "Heavenly Father, bear witness as I show you the strength of your creation"
Enemy army: *Running away from fear as you lock in*
Enemy army: *Running away from fear as you lock in*
by Fluph February 23, 2025
Get the Heavenly Father, bear witness as I show you the strength of your creation mug.