by Monkey's Dad March 23, 2020
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Smart prisoners conversation between the law and the hard place:
Constable: "son, you're off to a smart prison."
Human being and offender: "am I that intelligent?"
Constable: "son, you're off to a smart prison."
Human being and offender: "am I that intelligent?"
by Jack Herrer June 20, 2020
Get the Smart Prisoner mug.The blood and feces inmates naturally exude when larger inmates forcefully impale them in delicate areas, generally against their will.
Inmate 1: Heard you had to put your celly in his place last night. You didn't break him did you?
Inmate 2: Nah, he's just fine. He had plenty of prison lube in'em.
Inmate 2: Nah, he's just fine. He had plenty of prison lube in'em.
by Zen Chaos October 11, 2020
Get the Prison Lube mug.The act of holding down an unwilling participant and placing your rectum over both their eyes leaving the look of sunglasses made from feces.
This is also to done to assert dominants among young men and leaves the victim feeling vulnerable and ashamed.
This is also to done to assert dominants among young men and leaves the victim feeling vulnerable and ashamed.
"Hey new kid looks like a beta faggot lets give him a prison-mudshade"
"Yea I'll hold him down and you wipe your ass on his eyes"
"Yea I'll hold him down and you wipe your ass on his eyes"
by Annonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn October 25, 2012
Get the prison-mudshade mug.Carved Blumkin- a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon- a festive sex act perpetrated upon new inmates upon their being processed into central lock up and the main prison population in American Prisons- usually occasioned on but not exclusive to Halloween. Turning a new inmate into a "carved blumkin" usually involves his person being purchased as a "wife" (read: "bitch"), in exchange for cigarettes or other such bartered items- as opposed to his merely remaining another bartered item himself (read "everybody's fuck). The act of "carving a blumkin" is therefore both a marital and Hallows Eve ceremonial process of incarceration. The celebration begins with general crotch grabbing by the guests, bachelor, and best men. This is followed immediately by smuggled spoons percussed against the bars, (a clever substitution for wedding bells), calling all to the the altar (read: commode) for the fraternal ritual defecation- followed thereupon with more spoons beating upon the bars, prompting the bachelor to carry his unsuspecting object of adoration directly to his bunk in an act of non consensual conjugal sex (read rape), as a rite of dysfunctional sexual passage... in more ways than one (read: anally). The beating of spoons on bars during the "carving of the blumkin" is the origin for many of our traditions on the outside, such as ringing spoons upon glasses to make the bride and groom kiss upon command.
Carved Blumkin- a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon - "Ohhh, hell yeah, check out tha' new 'fish'! Awwww! Is gom be one helluva Happy mutha freakin' all Hollowed Out eve full o' sweet new meat all up in hea! Woop woop! Soon as I pinch off dis heah loaf, I gon carve me up a piece o'dat fine assed Blumkin o' his with dis hea niggaz Holloweeny!!!"
by StalinLovesCIAfakeMSM March 2, 2013
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