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Jared’s girlfriend

Jared’s girlfriend is a fucking weirdo. She looks like shrek or something and absolutely nobody likes them. She smells really bad and everyone talks about it behind her back. Jared feels bad but he kind of likes it
Is that Jared’s girlfriend

Oh fuck yeah it is hide. Can she just fuck off
by J123345 March 4, 2025
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I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”
*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”
by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024
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Jared's Ears

Jared's Ears Is a genetical condition in which somebodies ears are literally ginormous. Some mistake a person with Jared's ears to be a bird or other flying specimen. Jared's ears is normally identified at birth because the ginormous ears are incredibly big at birth, and therefore make labor incredibly hard. Jared's ears only has one cure which is to cut the ears off, or trim them with a rotary sander.
Is that a bird dog, nah its a plane.

Shit. Nevermind, it's just a guy with Jared's ears
by Christophlak June 18, 2024
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Jared Effect Theory

Aka the ‘Jared Meeks Phenomenon’ occurs when, something that should go wrong won’t, to enforce one’s ego and ignorance on those around him.
The Jared Effect Theory would consist of someone telling you something profound/unbelievable, then the subject will either complete the task and get consumed by self affirmations, or the subject might come up with any excuse in the world to avoid being looked at as human.
by imchampurchump March 28, 2025
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Jared

Jared is the sexiest hottest boy alive I want him to stick it in me and cream like he never has before with his fat sticky cock called the chunky slab of meat he produces gallons of cum daddy “moans cutely 😽”
Jared my fat dicked daddy cream on me.
by Harrison Ryalls April 9, 2023
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Jared

Queer/Homo/Tranny/Fag/Gender Fluid
Usually on some old dirt back road getting sucked off by a dude named T-Jizzle.
Careful around that guy, hes a jared, might try to suck you off
by anonymous April 17, 2023
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Jared McKenny

An Amazing, kind, funny, loving person who will either love you or hate you, he has murdered six people ;) (jokes) love you lots Jared xx
by You’llneverknow April 23, 2023
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