by crimsoku September 24, 2021

Jared's Ears is a condition in which your ears are abnormally large. Most would say that they are ticklish because of how big they are. There is no cure for this but one can live with the struggles of Jared's Ears by parting ways with the negatives of its impact.
by Christophlak May 28, 2024

Typically white male, probably plays golf or tennis, and follows the outfit formula: T-shirt, shorts, Nike socks with white vans. A “Jared” is most likely an asshole who treats women like shit and says “oh shit my bad”
by Solocupgirl December 9, 2019

The epitome of laziness. Loves to fondle cats and touch their privates. When attacking a Jared, do not go for the head, because it is metal plated, you won’t phase him. Typically looks like they’re lost and walking in circles, but don’t interrupt them, this is how they think, and disturbing them could ruin their entire day.
by NickyRen October 18, 2022

Jared's Ears Is a genetical condition in which somebodies ears are literally ginormous. Some mistake a person with Jared's ears to be a bird or other flying specimen. Jared's ears is normally identified at birth because the ginormous ears are incredibly big at birth, and therefore make labor incredibly hard. Jared's ears only has one cure which is to cut the ears off, or trim them with a rotary sander.
by Christophlak June 18, 2024

Jared on the Chaired is a magical elf who only sits on chairs & is much more critical on reports to santa than typical elves. Jared also explodes on christmas and shows back up again the next year.
by notoeduw December 21, 2024
