The meaning of dumb flex is to flex as much as possible !! Like a stupid flex! Or crazy flex. Dumb flex is being lit in all your might!! Whether it be clothing cars jewellery or even just your aura! Show off what you canđ¤Ş
by AlRaz February 11, 2021
Get the Dumb Flexmug. by Potatoepatches August 26, 2019
Get the Flex tapemug. Flex Officer (noun):
An elite-tier desk goblin who lives rent-free under the Captainâs desk, occasionally surfacing to breathe through their nose holes and remind everyone that âtheyâre special.â Born from the unholy union of nepotism and weaponized whining, the Flex Officer is the workplace equivalent of a trust fund baby who thinks mopping is a hate crime.
They donât work at the jail â they grace it with their presence.
They donât get mandated â they get massaged.
Their radio isnât even connected â itâs just Bluetooth synced to Spotify where theyâve got a playlist titled âGaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.â
Key Attributes:
⢠Can hold their breath under a desk for 2 hours straight if Daddy Captain is rubbing their back and whispering, âYouâre my little soldier.â
⢠Cries âunfair!â with the power of a soap opera widow anytime someone asks them to⌠do their actual job.
⢠Works half a shift, takes a full lunch, and still needs a mental health day from the trauma of watching other people do things.
Hierarchy of Enablers:
⢠Daddy Captain: Wears khakis so tight you can hear his thighs beg for help. Bends rules like he bends over to scratch the Flex Officerâs belly.
⢠Mommie Lieutenant: Pretends to discipline but calls them âmy babyâ when no oneâs looking.
⢠Uncle Lou: Definitely has something sketchy going on!
Fun Fact:
The Flex Officer once got an award for âMost Improvedâ after showing up to roll call on time⌠once⌠in 2019.
An elite-tier desk goblin who lives rent-free under the Captainâs desk, occasionally surfacing to breathe through their nose holes and remind everyone that âtheyâre special.â Born from the unholy union of nepotism and weaponized whining, the Flex Officer is the workplace equivalent of a trust fund baby who thinks mopping is a hate crime.
They donât work at the jail â they grace it with their presence.
They donât get mandated â they get massaged.
Their radio isnât even connected â itâs just Bluetooth synced to Spotify where theyâve got a playlist titled âGaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.â
Key Attributes:
⢠Can hold their breath under a desk for 2 hours straight if Daddy Captain is rubbing their back and whispering, âYouâre my little soldier.â
⢠Cries âunfair!â with the power of a soap opera widow anytime someone asks them to⌠do their actual job.
⢠Works half a shift, takes a full lunch, and still needs a mental health day from the trauma of watching other people do things.
Hierarchy of Enablers:
⢠Daddy Captain: Wears khakis so tight you can hear his thighs beg for help. Bends rules like he bends over to scratch the Flex Officerâs belly.
⢠Mommie Lieutenant: Pretends to discipline but calls them âmy babyâ when no oneâs looking.
⢠Uncle Lou: Definitely has something sketchy going on!
Fun Fact:
The Flex Officer once got an award for âMost Improvedâ after showing up to roll call on time⌠once⌠in 2019.
You: âWhy the hell am I getting mandated again?â
⢠Sergeant: âFlex Officer said he has emotional allergies to night shift, so Daddy wrote him a note and gave him a juice box.â
⢠You: aggressively Googling âhow to fake your own death with minimal paperworkâ
⢠Sergeant: âFlex Officer said he has emotional allergies to night shift, so Daddy wrote him a note and gave him a juice box.â
⢠You: aggressively Googling âhow to fake your own death with minimal paperworkâ
by BigDaddyBear53 July 4, 2025
Get the Flex Officermug. by Dat fat dick ass nigga July 16, 2017
Get the Flexmug. Is when someone show off their wealth or their a body physical attribute (e.g. huge muscles, blue eyes, etc) on people he/she think that they envy them.
"Bro, I took a picture of myself after the gym and posted it on instagram to flex on them Haters."
"Man, this guy keep posting his new Ferrari on his social media feeds to flex on them haters"
"Man, this guy keep posting his new Ferrari on his social media feeds to flex on them haters"
by Rebel in a locked space June 10, 2022
Get the Flex on them Hatersmug. by Literalistic September 30, 2023
Get the flex the rainbowmug. Another way to tell someone to shut the fuck up because they won't stop being a fucking fortnite player
by I love izzie999 April 15, 2021
Get the Flex seal your god damn mouthmug.