punt my offices

Hottest new slang for "cut off my penis".
"punt my offices" is a perfect anagram for "cut off my penis"

John Bobbitt: Why'd you punt my offices!?!
Lorena: Temporary insanity caused by your constant physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.

by The Kentucky Kid December 08, 2007

Pull an office space

When a person quickly switches jobs, from a corporate environment to a construction-related job.

Chris pulled an office space when he became a contractor.

by Tom June 17, 2003

call your office

Before the advent of mobile communication devices (pagers, mobile phones), someone at a public event might be summoned over the public address system to "call your office", indicating that an urgent message was waiting for them. In this context, the phrase is used to imply that someone is unaware of important information - i.e. that their arguments are uninformed and therefore superfluous.

Your argument is wrong at every level. You should really call your office.

by Optiongeek April 08, 2010

Office Eyes Syndrome

A syndrome which occurs to many contact-lens wearers, as well as some non-contact-lens wearers, when exposed to 8 hours of the office envirnoment per day. The office environment includes, harsh flourescent lighting, glare from computer screens, dry air due to excessive air-conditioning, etc. Sypmtoms include redness, itchy eyes, some tears, smudged eye make-up (women only)

Joe: Hey Mary, are you ok? It looks as though you've been crying...

Mary: No, Joe, it's just a case of Office Eyes Syndrome. The air-conditioning is drying my eyes out!!

by skinimalinki January 11, 2011

Office for Homeland Security

Government department with the job of making people insecure by getting cops to break into their homes.

A good example of Newspeak.

The far-right bigot in charge of this office, whose name I forget, is the same man who spent years trying to lynch Mumia Abu-Jamal and he's praised the Nazis as well.

by annoyed anarchist May 03, 2004

circular out of office

Sometimes done without knowledge of the participating parties but is actually a tactic used by two or more office employees trying to cover each others ass while also avoiding workloads while they are both out of the office. Working like a circular reference error, it is when two or more workers set up their out of office message referring another contact person in the event of any urgent or pressing matters ... only to taken when in fact they reach out to the other contact to find out he or she is also out of the office and is referring the orginal sender back to the original request

Boss : Smith, did you get that Mitchel report done yet?
Smith: Well, Jackson was working on it, I'll check in with him and let you know.
Later that day Smith to pal Phil: Damn that Jackson and Murphy, the f'd me again!
Phil: What they do?
Smith: They set up a circular out of office on me, and the boss is looking for that Mitchel report.

by the last great nobody June 20, 2009

Law-Enforcement Officer

What some Policemen call themselves to sound more professional, fancier, or somehow more important.
-Or because they're ashamed to be cops.

Denotes certain Federal-Agents, Fish & Wildlife Officers, Park-Rangers, Border-Patrol, and other such sworn & commissioned professionals who work in important fields of law-enforcement, but who are not necessarily traditional street-cops.

Also used by those Officers who do not want to thought of, or referred to, as Policemen.

Abbreviated as LEO (singular) or LEO's (plural).

"When a cop calls himself a Law-Enforcement Officer, it's like a garbage-man calling himself a Sanitation-Worker, or a clerk calling herself a Sales-Associate."

"Being a Policeman is an honorable-profession. Nothing is more vital to Public-Safety than the humble street-cop; Be proud of who you are, and of what you do."

by goodcop8 November 24, 2007