Tony the turtle

A black piece of shit the can't find his father.

When Tony the turtle tried to find his father , he realized that his father left for a hot white middle schooler.

by Slim Jim of Torture December 13, 2016

myrtle's turtle

A term used to describe a drunk man shitfaced off of moonshine with a puckered face, rosy cheeks and assless chaps who is about to pass out in an alley behind a hotel next to some dumpsters. He can neither stand nor sit so he squats until he gradually falls backward onto his ass in a rolling fashion teetering to and fro on his back before finally passing out (urban dictionary, 2017)

That kid looks like myrtle's turtle, careful, they bite

by Mr. Polo to you April 19, 2017

Cut The Turtle

“Cut The Turtle” (verb): To get over one’s hangover, by drinking a gin and tonic. Other drinks can also be consumed whilst cutting the turtle. Generally or more often so, spirits.

“Mate, I’m f*cking hungover!”

“You need a G&T mate, you need to Cut The Turtle”

by Larry2017 July 25, 2018

Two headed turtle

a squating position with a semi erect penis and half extruded bowel movement

I was in the woods and had two headed turtle behind a tree/ I was laying in bed and showed my two headed turtle to the ol lady

by Bignz December 21, 2020

Lucky the Lag Turtle

The cause of copious amounts of lag and anger while playing video games

"Are you serious!? I just domed that guy 4 times! Lucky the lag turtle is shitting on my house right now."

or

"What!? How did I get in this rock? Lucky the lag turtle's a cold mistress"

by VerbleAbuse January 14, 2010

Luck of a Turtle

When someone/something is having very bad luck. As turtles have little to no luck because they are slow and if they end up on their back they cannot get up.

A soccer team keeps getting shots on goal, but just cannot get the ball in.

Max states: God! We have the luck of a turtle right now!

by mills messsss November 7, 2010

scissoring off the turtle head

When you are taking a shit, it's the last little pieces to come out.

Dude 1: Cmon' bro, let's hit the clubs.

Dude 2 (taking massive dump): One sec, man, I'm scissoring off the turtle head.

by Heezy P. March 16, 2014