sandwich rate

the rate at which a woman creates sandwiches. crucial to her ability to mate. a sandwhich rate below 2 a minute leaves you incapable of ever being able to mate. 3 means average. above 5 means legendary a rate above 10 a minute means men will approach you on the street and ask you to marry them.

due to liz's sandwich rate of 12 a minute. even though she is amazingly unattractive she get's 5 marriage requests a day.

by chef Miles March 11, 2012

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Estate Rate

The Estate Rate is an unspoken but effective measure which can be used to gauge what neighbours actually think of each other.

Here is an example using refuse collection and popularity.

Popular:
Your neighbour notices you have put the wrong refuse bin out for collection so they break into your backyard and swap the bins over.

Unpopular:
Due to an early flight the refuse bin is left out the night before collection day. Returning a week later the empty refuse bin is still on the road outside the house.

Your nouveau-chav neighbour encourages their children to play road football in front of everyone's house but their own.

You can either suggest they record Jeremy Kyle (Jerry Springer) and take the kids to the park or use the more non-confrontational method of watching and participating in a neighbourhood Estate Rate which will not resolve the problem but does lead to a satisfying feeling of alliance.

by Bruce Brithe April 22, 2017

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