Advanced Awkward Turtle

Advanced Awkward Turtle

Advanced Awkward Turtle is the next stage in evolutionary awkwardness.
To perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle there are three preliminary conditions you must be sure are in place.
Make sure to find an introverted, lonely looking person. Preferably one that is sitting alone. Also, make sure that he/she has a free hand that is placed on a flat surface, with the palm facing down. Lastly, make sure that the hand is within reach. With these conditions, you are ready to perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle.

First, place your opposing hand directly on top of his/her free hand with your palm facing down and your fingers pointing the same direction. Next, make eye contact as you start to rotate your thumbs counter-clockwise(as in standard awkward turtle). Wait until awkwardness ensues. If awkwardness does not become apparent, follow the next steps.

Decrease the distance between your face and theirs, while increasing the rotational speed of your thumbs.
Advanced Awkward Turtle would be used in these situations.

Billy, the boy who never talks, is sitting alone. Until you walk over and get intimately awkward with him.

A bully is picking on you, so you bust out the Awkward Turtle. A gentle wink thrown in will make sure he will never go near you again.

Works very well in breaking the ice, or annihilate it completely.
by Bubba Franks Man March 12, 2009
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awkward dad moment

When a person's father says something inappropriate or uncomfortable in front of their child. This most commonly happens in front of the child's friends when they are a teenager or grown-up.
Dad: "So, anyway I found out she likes it when I shoot it on her face. It happened on accident of course, but it ended up being a good thing."

Kid 1: "Sick dad! That's my mom! What an awkward dad moment."

Kid 2: "Whoa dude your dad is a freak!"
by westfalia December 17, 2009
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awkward switch swap

the act of walking towards somebody and trying to switch sides of the hallway or street, when they switch to the same side as you, and you try to switch back and they switch to the same side as you.
person 1: that chick totally awkward switch swapped me.

person 2: what a cunt!
by the :#r May 13, 2010
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Awkward Cease Convo

A word or phrase used that abruptly ends the conversation and is difficult (or impossible) to recover conversation from afterward.
Steve:Yeah I thought the Patriots did well last week

John: Totally but I'm not sure Welker can make up for it

Steve: One time my uncle played football.

John: *sigh* you Awkward Cease Convo -ing sonuvabitch
by SenorCardgage August 17, 2009
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awkward asian syndrome

The tendency for an Asian (usually male) to remain socially reclusive in a group of people they are not usually comfortable associating with. Can also be applied as a general term when natural Asian characteristics (not pertaining to physicality) are the source of public embarrassment.
Bro 1: Why is Harry so quiet by himself?
Bro 2: He's got Awkward Asian Syndrome, bro.

Bro 1: Dude, I walked into Harry's room, and he was singing karaoke. Really horribly.
Bro 2: I bet his Awkward Asian Syndrome got the best of him afterward.
by Hips_dont_ly November 19, 2010
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awkward turtle mojo

Describes the state of constantly being in "awkward turtle" mode; suspecting oneself of being the cause of many awkward moments many times per day.
Girl: It's the first time I kissed a boy, but our braces got stuck together for two hours. Then his dad - who's a Baptist pastor - found us together in his room with our lips locked. We finally got unstuck because his dad ripped us apart. Then in walking home, a escaped monkey pantsed me, and a tourist saw the latter part and looked at me like I was crazy. Then I tripped on a rock and fell into the arms of this really hot guy (with my pants still down).

Other Girl: Man, you got some major awkward turtle mojo goin' on.
by Awkward Turtle Mojo! May 31, 2010
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def jam awkward

a lame band concurrent with 98degrees.
also an adjective describing something extremely awkward
'So my girlfriend and i got to planned parenthood and they told us that she wasn't pregnant, she was just bloated. It was def jam awkward.'
by Marc Chad Caro-armstong August 27, 2007
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