A car monkey is when a female gives a man oral pleasure while driving in a car. She should topless and at least slightly buzzed. Verb
My wife got drunk as hell last night at the beach club, and hit me with a car monkey on the way home, that shit was hella good!
by Madmax16 May 17, 2016
When a women is crouching/squatting in the tub naked facing the faucet with it running. She then repeadetly catches water in her hands and hand over hand begins tossing it into her vagina in hopes to extract male sperm (cum) out of her. The motion similar to that of a monkey throwing there feces hand over hand over there shoulders. (Yet in the situations one hand at a time and into there vagina)
Male: Hey hunny I hear the shower running. Coming in to join you. hehehe
Female: (not responding/did not hear)
Male: (sneaks in and sees her in tub) Um hey...
Female: GET OUT OF HERE!!
Male: Did I just catch you doing a Monkey Douche
Female: (not responding/did not hear)
Male: (sneaks in and sees her in tub) Um hey...
Female: GET OUT OF HERE!!
Male: Did I just catch you doing a Monkey Douche
by Skillet Sensation July 07, 2010
by Seeryulz May 17, 2020
When a woman is giving you a blow job and at the same time rubs both hands on each side off your penis in a twisting and twirling fashion.
by NoLuck December 03, 2009
by skee__t January 05, 2019
Dawn: You are the best guy ever. I can't believe we are in this relationship. I've always wanted someone like you in my life.
Bob: I didn't know you were this much of a gush monkey. :p. It's cute.
Bob: I didn't know you were this much of a gush monkey. :p. It's cute.
by gushmonkey April 20, 2011
A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
by taserbrain February 12, 2010