In the movie 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape', the kids are ashamed of their mother because she is so obese. So obese, in fact, that she is a crane fatty.
by Donald P. March 20, 2009
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by fat podge November 7, 2020
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Usually known by the acronym SIF, a secret internet fatty posts photographs of themselves on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise their obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of:
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
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SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another secret internet fatty with delusions of grandeur.
SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another secret internet fatty with delusions of grandeur.
by One Stark Reality September 19, 2009
Get the Secret Internet Fatty mug.An explanation you give to your buddies when you have a real growler in your guts and you're about to give birth to a huge deuce, dump, toilet trout, pinch a loaf, etc.
by XXL Petey May 3, 2014
Get the drop a fatty mug.A large balloon filled with nitrous oxide often sold in concert parking lots or festivals.
A whippet.
A whippet.
by Psychedelic Andy June 2, 2009
Get the Ice Cold Fatty mug.A person who looks fit and attractive with their clothes on, but does not look as good as originally anticipated with their clothes off.
Jason is kind of a stealth fatty; he looks good with his clothes on but once he got naked I wished that he would just put them back on right away.
by LRC123 August 10, 2009
Get the Stealth Fatty mug.Somebody who keeps food in unorthodox locations in hopes of others not discovering their excessive food supply.
Perhaps the most popular Naughty Fatty technique is to hide burgers or other fast food in their vehicle. The Naughty Fatty is given a sense of security by this, knowing there is always a snack in their possession. This can become dangerous if the Naughty Fatty does not practice good hygiene; the smell of rotting food can be mistaken for(or mingle with) body odor, giving the Naughty Fatty the false impression the rotting food is still fresh enough to eat safely. A good way for the Naughty Fatty to stay free of such hazards is to limit the amount of garbage and food waste accumulation in their vehicle to between six and eight metric tons per passenger seat.
by helmetbroom March 8, 2010
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