shank wank

The act of masturbating with one hand while making a 'shanking' motion with the other, knife-filled, hand.

I'm gonna have me a shank wank!

by efildrot September 24, 2013

Dangerous wank

The act of sending ones housemate out to Tesco's to buy chocolate, muffins and wine in order to masturbate, naked in the middle of the living room, hoping that you can finish and redress yourself before they return home.

Margaret: What did you get up to last night?

Glynis: I had a dangerous wank whilst Brian popped to the shop for a pint of milk and some fishermans friends.

Margaret: Ooh, that sounds like fun.

Glynis: Yes, it was delightful.

by slapyourstick October 14, 2011

teary wank

As the name implies, having a little cry while self-pleasuring.

He was sad and alone so he had a teary wank.

by sadselfpleasure June 14, 2011

Wet wank

A line used by Dave the sailor to describe visiting an Asian hooker.

Dave: we're coming into port..

John: yeah I know.

Dave: fancie a shave and a wet wank?

by Pablotescobar November 26, 2021

hive wank

A distributed collection of wanking by many at the same time. Something that would likely be triggered by a major event such as mass encouraged working from home.

Woah, with everyone working from home at the moment, there must be some serious hive wanking going on.

by snowmoon March 16, 2020

Ballistic wank

When you wank so hard, your cum makes a hole in the roof.

I took a ballistic wank this morning.

by Misterymissile August 31, 2020

Diamond Wank

A prolonged wanking experience in which legs are placed into a diamond position. Invented by Diamond Dave

I’m off for a diamond wank

by Rourkenator November 12, 2021