Fructose Beard

A fleshy, saggy, pouch-like formation under the chin caused by overconsumption of highly processed, fructose-laden snack foods. A fructose beard obscures the natural jawline and renders the victim's face shapeless and lacking in definition.

Honey Boo-Boo's mom is sporting a serious fructose beard.

by barfstormman1 July 18, 2013

queer beard

Someone who you coauthor with who has a marginalized gender identity or sexual orientation (e.g. LGBT2Q+), in order to credibly discuss issues of gender as a cishet person. Could equally apply to people of marginalized racial identities (see race beard).

That guy only writes with so-and-so so he can talk about queer topics without being attacked, and get into those progressive journals! I would go as far to say he's using them as a queer beard...

by secretuser420 April 08, 2020

bearded viking

When a hairy woman stands on her head and you jam your face in her vag and take a selfie.

Did you get that pic from Keith last night? That nasty bastard was all in a hookers junk and did a Bearded Viking shot...

by Satan's Sphinxter June 05, 2017

douche beard

A beard that is all over but short worn when someone doesn't want a beard but wants to prove they can grow a beard.

I love Andy Samberg but I wish he'd get a proper beard or get rid of his douche beard

by DawsonPugh March 03, 2022

Key beard

When you try to type key board but your fingers are retarded.

My key beard is broken
I accidentally typed key beard instead of key board and my friend makes fun of me now

by MelonSmasher29 February 24, 2023

Bearded clam

Unshaven vagina

She had lost her razor awhile ago therefore her unshaven vagina had become a bearded clam.

by Clam digger314 January 20, 2019

Dragon's Beard

The loose skin that remains on the underside of a circumsized penis.

"Would please give my Dragon's Beard a tug?"

by Charlie Victor Echo November 17, 2017