The wives of the first 43 presidents were given the title of "First Lady", but that was the past. That's an OLD title from the OLD united states.
It's a new world and it is time for CHANGE. Therefore, its time for a NEW title for the president's wife.
Since America has a Capitalist economy and a president has become more of a figurehead than a leader, and being a good figurehead means being a consumer whore, the new title for the president's wife will be used for advertising space and product placement.
Every four years starting now, a corporation will pay the White House a MASSIVE amount of money to brand the president's wife with their product name, and the wife will be referred to as "First <whatever product bought their name>" as long as their husband stays the president. (For example: First Pepto Bismol, First Quaker Oatmeal, First Extra Strength Vagisil, First Murphy's Butt Lovin Lube, etc.)
This presidential term's wife name advertisement slot has already been purchased by Aunt Jemima.
So, that means Michelle Obama is the nation's first "First Aunt Jemima".
It is oddly coincidental that she strongly resembles Aunt Jemima. If you don't believe me, next time you are in the grocery store LOOK at a bottle of Aunt Jemima... They look so much alike they could be twins!
Also, she's a black chick, and everyone knows black chicks know how to cook.
Imma go have a pancake with a bottle of Michelle Obama now...
It's a new world and it is time for CHANGE. Therefore, its time for a NEW title for the president's wife.
Since America has a Capitalist economy and a president has become more of a figurehead than a leader, and being a good figurehead means being a consumer whore, the new title for the president's wife will be used for advertising space and product placement.
Every four years starting now, a corporation will pay the White House a MASSIVE amount of money to brand the president's wife with their product name, and the wife will be referred to as "First <whatever product bought their name>" as long as their husband stays the president. (For example: First Pepto Bismol, First Quaker Oatmeal, First Extra Strength Vagisil, First Murphy's Butt Lovin Lube, etc.)
This presidential term's wife name advertisement slot has already been purchased by Aunt Jemima.
So, that means Michelle Obama is the nation's first "First Aunt Jemima".
It is oddly coincidental that she strongly resembles Aunt Jemima. If you don't believe me, next time you are in the grocery store LOOK at a bottle of Aunt Jemima... They look so much alike they could be twins!
Also, she's a black chick, and everyone knows black chicks know how to cook.
Imma go have a pancake with a bottle of Michelle Obama now...
Person A: "Hey, you know that closeted muslim that isn't even half as black as Tiger Woods and is primarily middle-eastern and white? The guy people only say is black because black people want to feel included and have a reason to justify going on a power trip and pulling the slavery card again, and the white people feel obligated to go along with the black people because they're too afraid that if they formed their own opinions they'd be called racists? Umm... The guy with the big ears and questionable motives... The one who uses his ethnicity as a scapegoat, but still claims to be against people who are racially biased. I keep forgetting his name..."
Person B: "It's not ringing any bells..."
Person A: "Hmm... Oh yeah, his middle name is Hussein and he made it obvious that he intends to anally rape the country and spend a lot of money that's not his to spend. What's his name again?"
Person B: "Oooooh! You mean that douche bag, Barack Obama! What about him?"
Person A: "He's married to the First Aunt Jemima."
Person B: "Wow, she's waaaay too good for that nappy headed moron that got elected president."
Person A: "True dat! I hear the First Aunt Jemima makes a mean stack of pancakes too!"
Person B: "Hayull yeah! I'd tap that."
Person A: "Me too."
Person B: "..."
Person A: "..."
Person B: "I'm bored... Let's go throw vegetables at old people."
Person A: "Okay!"
Person B: "It's not ringing any bells..."
Person A: "Hmm... Oh yeah, his middle name is Hussein and he made it obvious that he intends to anally rape the country and spend a lot of money that's not his to spend. What's his name again?"
Person B: "Oooooh! You mean that douche bag, Barack Obama! What about him?"
Person A: "He's married to the First Aunt Jemima."
Person B: "Wow, she's waaaay too good for that nappy headed moron that got elected president."
Person A: "True dat! I hear the First Aunt Jemima makes a mean stack of pancakes too!"
Person B: "Hayull yeah! I'd tap that."
Person A: "Me too."
Person B: "..."
Person A: "..."
Person B: "I'm bored... Let's go throw vegetables at old people."
Person A: "Okay!"
by PsychoPencil January 24, 2009
Get the First Aunt Jemima mug.To inject maple syrup into a Black girls anus for the purpose of having her squirt it out on either a stack of freshly made pancakes, or her partners face or mouth. The white equivalent of the aunt jemimah is known as the mrs.buttersworth.
L-Dawg: Yo C-Dawg i totally aunt jemimah'd that hood rat i met at the club last night, i cant believe u let her squirt ass syrup on u!
C-Dawg: ya brah i had extra syrup layin around, and i had to use it some how!
LaQuisha totally ruined my plans of waffles today because she used up all the syrup when she Aunt Jemimah'd herself last night!
C-Dawg: ya brah i had extra syrup layin around, and i had to use it some how!
LaQuisha totally ruined my plans of waffles today because she used up all the syrup when she Aunt Jemimah'd herself last night!
by P-bone~A.Drew~Coletrain October 29, 2009
Get the Aunt Jemimah'd mug.a aunt jamimas crack house is a cheap ass place where ill they have to eat is boxs of pancake mix and flour , a house or place where thiers alot of cocaine or crack or a home thats realy dirty
1.dude i spent the night at mikes last night.(what was it like?) nigga that shit was like staying in aunt jamimas crack house
2.bitch they had more cocaine than aunt jamimas crack house
3.dude clean your fucking room its starting to look more dirty than aunt jamimas crackhouse
2.bitch they had more cocaine than aunt jamimas crack house
3.dude clean your fucking room its starting to look more dirty than aunt jamimas crackhouse
by charles wiseman April 1, 2008
Get the aunt jamimas crack house mug.When a lone finger breaks through the toilet paper and comes out covered in fecal matter. Although usually dark, color may very from red to green, tan, white, or purple.
"I can't believe how cheap the bathroom tp is! That is the first aunt jamima I have had since I was a young child."
by Jordan January 4, 2004
Get the Aunt Jamima mug.The act of pouring maple syrup over genitals, and giving or receiving oral sex immediately afterward.
Flavored syrups are optional.
Flavored syrups are optional.
by ThePH December 10, 2009
Get the Aunt Jamima mug.When you are mad at your girl for not having sex with you. So when she falls asleep you masturbate and cum on her chest. After that, stick the bedsheet on to her chest and when she wakes up it's stuck to the cum and she has an apron like Aunt Jamima. Just the opposite of a Superman.
Yo man, my girl flat passed out on me last night so I gave that hoe da Aunt Jamima...now the beach can use that apron to make my ass breakfast.
by Johnny_B January 12, 2008
Get the Aunt Jamima mug.The Opposite but still just as hateful as an "Uncle Tom"; Black Women who is racist towards White folk
Mrs. Blackmon, don't be actin' like an "Aunt Jamima" toward President Donald Trump, he's Making America Great Again.
by Yourstruelythekid May 30, 2018
Get the Aunt Jamima mug.