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South Park Agnostic

One who doesn't actually understand the nuances in either side of any issue, so they take a position halfway between them while deriding both as extremists. They hope to appear moderate and reasonable without having to actually research the matter and form an opinion that doesn't boil down to trendy contrarianism and false equivalence.

They do absolutely nothing to improve the human condition. They're out to elevate themselves above all parties in any given argument by shitting on all of them, without doing anything to conclusively resolve the matter. They're worse than useless, they're actively obstructing progress.
Those South Park Agnostics should read an actual book or two than sit on their asses watching TV.
by Destroyer of Ignorance February 3, 2010
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agnostic

One who subscribes to doubt in regards to deities.
The agnostic concluded that their was no way to tell if God or gods existed, thefore he stopped trying to find out.
by Chenlambec September 12, 2009
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quantum agnostics

A 21st century philosophy that attempts to meld science with spirituality.

Central premise of Q/A: We live our lives over and over again in exactly the same way in the time-space matrix alloted to us. Birth and death are "bookends", predetermined by a higher power, and prop up the free-will "books" of our conscious reality (actions, memories and dreams) between.
Will quantum agnostics allow me to get a life?
by Jerome Myer September 3, 2012
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Agnostic

Someone who believes that knowledge is not possible for themselves, some to different extents. They may believe that knowledge is possible, but paradoxically, it's impossible for them to know. While one will confine this to the metaphysical, most famously, regarding the existence of God, others will believe that they can know nothing at all, as not even their senses can be trusted.

Agnostics are often well-educated, and even more often do they see themselves as such. An agnostic, by virtue of their belief, typically sees themself as a very skeptical and critical person, and indeed, they usually are. They are often more intelligent on average than those who believe they know things, or at least, so the stereotype goes. Because of this, they often develop a sense of superiority, by which they can logically and rationally transcend the arguments of less-intelligent theists, who tend to be the most vocal ones.

An agnostic esteems above all else the scientific method. It is the infallible absolute of the agnostic. Everything must be empirically demonstrable to an agnostic, or it cannot be known to exist. A typical argument an atheist would use against a theist would be: "Since you cannot prove the existence of your God, how do you know that he exists?"

An agnostic attempts to apply empiricism to absolutely every aspect of reality. A thing does not exist unless it can be "scientifically proven". A modern understanding of science is the typical rhetoric of the agnostic.
Theist: "Do you believe in God?"

Agnostic: "I do not, because it is impossible to prove the existence of God. In fact, I do not believe it is possible to prove the existence of anything, as everything we've known is a product or our subjective consciousness."

Theist: "Are you sure?"

Agnostic: "Yes, I am 100% sure."

OR

Agnostic: "If a thing cannot be proven scientifically, there is no way to know that it exists"

Philosopher dude: "But you are assuming the existence of knowledge, which in itself is a totally abstract concept that is entirely unprovable by those means. If you are to apply the scientific method to every facet of knowledge, with our current understanding of perception and cognition, it would be impossible to trust your own senses, and everything would be unprovable, and hence, you could know nothing at all, including the validity of the scientific method."

Agnostic: "Any ideas of yours cannot be empirically proven, so I need not listen to you."

Philosopher dude: *facepalm.
by Philosopher dude December 27, 2010
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Agnostic Front

Band that is known as " street punk " and is really good. Known for their Album Dead Yuppies and great songs like Love to be Hated and Gotta Go.
I know somebody somewhere is gonna love me - LOVE ME
I know somebody somewhere is gonna hate me - Oh yeah
Well I'm loved and I'm hated, loved and I'm hated, loved and I'm hated, well i love love love love love to be hated
by Maggie loves Jon April 16, 2004
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Agnostic

Someone who does not pretend to know what so many ignorant men are sure of.
I am an agnostic.

I am a pissed-off agnostic who doesn't like the minimum example size.
by do I have to put something here? September 13, 2004
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agnostic

One who chooses doubt or uncertainty as a philosophy of life.
He is an agnostic. He'll never be sure about religion or irreligion.
by one who wants to find morals November 3, 2012
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