freeze the tortoise

To stop a conversation, because a) someone has said something incredibly awkward and/or disturbing or b) the conversation is inevitably leading that way.

When Mikey told me to "guard my carnal treasure" it really froze the tortoise.

by The Bard of Anon May 18, 2005

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Ford Tortoise

Slang for FORD TAURUS.

When my stupid ex-wife divorced me, I was sable to trade up from our old Ford Tortoise station wagon to a brand new Ford Rustang GT!

by Car-roll Shelby July 22, 2006

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Related Words

tortoise • tortoise camrhyne • tortoise shell • tortoise tickler • Tortoise and Hare • Tortoise Diet • tortoise head • tortoise-heading • Tortoise Kisses • Tortoise Launcher

The Tortoise

When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did

Hey dude... After I left with that chick last night.. I was totally the Tortoise.. I got there before the hair !

by John Detlor March 20, 2009

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Walking Tortoise Head

An extreme case of Turtle Head, in which the victim is forced to take sliding baby steps and clench their butt cheeks in order to avoid a full on pant's crapping episode.

You suddenly realize you have turtle head. You leave your desk and take several steps towards the restroom only to experience the second stage of Turtle Head called, "Walking Tortoise Head". You clench your butt cheeks together and make baby steps praying for the strength and the luck to make it to the toilet in time to release this angry monster.

by Caedis T Yo May 7, 2011

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