freeze the tortoise 

To stop a conversation, because a) someone has said something incredibly awkward and/or disturbing or b) the conversation is inevitably leading that way.

When Mikey told me to "guard my carnal treasure" it really froze the tortoise.

freeze the tortoise by The Bard of Anon May 18, 2005

Ford Tortoise 

Slang for FORD TAURUS.

When my stupid ex-wife divorced me, I was sable to trade up from our old Ford Tortoise station wagon to a brand new Ford Rustang GT!

Ford Tortoise by Car-roll Shelby July 22, 2006

The Tortoise 

When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did

Hey dude... After I left with that chick last night.. I was totally the Tortoise.. I got there before the hair !

The Tortoise by John Detlor March 20, 2009

Walking Tortoise Head

An extreme case of Turtle Head, in which the victim is forced to take sliding baby steps and clench their butt cheeks in order to avoid a full on pant's crapping episode.

You suddenly realize you have turtle head. You leave your desk and take several steps towards the restroom only to experience the second stage of Turtle Head called, "Walking Tortoise Head". You clench your butt cheeks together and make baby steps praying for the strength and the luck to make it to the toilet in time to release this angry monster.

Walking Tortoise Head by Caedis T Yo May 7, 2011

Hermanns tortoise 

A tortoise found in europe.

A hermanns tortoise lives in europe

Hermanns tortoise by Hasta le vista November 25, 2017

Steel Tortoise 

Hes a man from Maynmar (Burma). Hes fucking awesome.

"Steel Tortoise is so fucking awesome"

Steel Tortoise by Terixy August 19, 2022

Peking Tortoise 

When you try to have a poop and it only pops its nose out before retreating back inside.

Dude, you were in the bathroom for ages!

Yeah, I was struggling with a Peking Tortoise.

Peking Tortoise by shane_r April 10, 2009