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Jesus take the wheel

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A command used when the driver of a vehicle requires the use of both his hands for a task other than steering i.e. sending a text, opening a beer, or rolling a joint. He yells “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!” while simultaneously removing his hands from it. It is then the immediate duty of the passenger to reach over , grab the wheel, and steer the vehicle until the driver has his hands free once again.
“Yeah thanks for asking John my weekend was pretty goo… JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL I GOTTA CRACK OPEN THIS BEER. FUCK”
by soggypotatoe June 19, 2021
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Jesus Take The Wheel

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When one is to drunk to drive while still insiting on driving, allows a higher power to do the driving for them. It stems from the popular Carrie Underwood song with the title of the same name.
"I know drinking and driving is wrong so that is why i let Jesus take the wheel, whenever I drive home drunk, he'll guide me home safely"
by St. Jason, The Great April 15, 2008
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Give me some food. Usually one says this when they're waiting on line for lunch.
I was on a line in the mess hall at rikers and an inmate standing a few feet from me said "can I get a slap of grease in the name of jesus?".
by metaphoricals June 14, 2010
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fuck jesus in the face

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Fuck Jesus in the face! If Bruce cock blocks me one more time, I'm going to punch him out
by Merkin March 24, 2005
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Jesus Is the Answer

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A seemingly naive or simplistic solution to one's life problems that Jesus can make the impossible possible—a crazy idea to the cynical or skeptical nonbeliever.
Be it in health, relationships, career, or finances, one can expect a breakthrough if one believes that Jesus is more than willing to turn one's life around—this is why Jesus is the answer to all of one's life's problems.
by MathPlus January 22, 2017
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A term used to address an event of either unbelievable, hilarious or ridiculous measure. These 5 words should only be used to address the occurence when it is of huge magnitude.

(Note - heavily accenting the 'Ch' in Christ always adds great emphasis upon deliverance of the phrase.)

First began to circulate in Essex, after a truly remarkable display of football acrobatics during a friendly game of 6-a-side, the phrase has now picked up a few more scenarios to be used in.
1) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ! Did you just see that fucking goal?!'

2? 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, that truly was the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen.'

3) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, did you just see that bitch spit a Melon out of her arse?!'
by TerranceGrapes April 24, 2011
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A book of children's stories written by ancient peoples to instill values and morals at a young age. This book is also popular among adults.
"A reading from chapter Genesis in The Adventures of Jesus and Friends:
'In the beginning.....'".
by n530411351 January 2, 2009
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