optical delusion

Misreading a word, phrase, sentence or headline, often to humorous or shocking effect.

The headline read 'Intel back on track', but for a split second, I thought it said 'Intel back on crack'.

by beandog February 9, 2005

opticalrectalitis

A medical syndrome whereas one has his head up his ass and has a shitty outlook on life.

Your symptoms indicate that you suffer from opticalrectalitis.

by aFfLiCtEd December 19, 2004

optical rectalitis

from>latin: poopusinvisionus; human affliction stemming from repeated berating, egodeflation, ex-wives, parade-precipitation, and constant mindfuck from a second party ~individual//group/groups. Common street vernacular that actually should be defined in UD is "SHITTY OUTLOOK".

I clean my contacts with Preperation-H because I have optical rectalitis.

by terryzz February 22, 2009

optimal

An exceptionally bad player in a FPS computer game. Usually used to criticize the lack of teamplay of said person.

"You blinded all your teammates, you optimal!"

by Orion November 6, 2004

gastro-opticalendectomy

The surgical procedure of having a window installed in a persons stomach to allow them to see when their head is up their ass.

The politician's fly was open not for favors but for clear vision. His aide was polishing his gastro-opticalendectomy window.

by electrician January 31, 2010

optical delusion

An occasion when someone trys to twist something that is clearly normal into something that either causes excitement, offends someone, or helps prover their point.

Q- Yo man, have you seen my ticked out '77 Honda Accord?
A- Nah man, that just one of your optical delusions.

by djyr2003 February 16, 2010

optical-fertilization

the process of being shot in the eye with a male orgasm

sarah gollub's eye hurts due to the fact that i brutally optical fertilized her

by mike hunt December 1, 2003