A hot man, who is sexy as hell. He is loyal and will not back down from a fight. If you hurt one of his friends he will kick your ass and is not afraid to do so. If you are friends with Jon you will not regret it! There is no one more loyal and reliable than he is. If you are his girlfriend he can be obnoxious and annoying but is the most loving man.
by sexretlysexy November 18, 2017
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A person that smokes/talks about weed constantly.
Person 1: dude, did you meet the new student?
Person 2: Yeah, he's such a Jon.
by piercethesirens July 23, 2016
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When you're laying there reading a novel, and a man comes up to you with an erection, forcing such erection in and out of your mouth in a thrusting-like motion.
I was winding down with a John Grisham novel and was Jonned halfway through chapter 9.
by 1800vagbags September 14, 2016
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Sometimes toilet other times is to be sodomized. Smells like shit. Fettish for big girls
Aww dude I have to use the Jon.

Or damn Jon smells like shit today
by Dan8 March 4, 2015
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A Jon is a person with great levels of responsibility. Jons are name dropped daily when people want to sound important or knowledgeable. If you know a Jon, consider yourself blessed.

Jons are bosses of all the bosses. They don’t f*ck around. Jons are probably best known for their informative, lengthy emails. Jon emails remind people how to do their jobs. The best part of a Jon email is the ending because Jons often try to make these funny. Jon worshippers will read the final paragraph of a Jon email and smile or laugh before they set out doing ‘Jons work’ for the day.

Strengths: Jons make everyone feel listened to and important. Jons like to bring people together for the greater good. Jons fight for the vulnerable or disadvantaged. Jons are not afraid to row with people when necessary. Jons can wing a PowerPoint zoom like an absolute pro.

Weaknesses: Jons have a terrible sense of humour. They like dad jokes and toilet humour and will persist with a bad joke even if nobody laughs.

Warnings: Jons have a penchant for brutally bringing people down when the need arises. Don’t piss a Jon off, you may well live to regret it. Jons can be savage, unforgiving and moody.
“Oh my daiz! Did you see today’s Jon email?! He is so funny! His emails are the light of my life and I simply cannot function without them. I particularly love it when he posts dud links on purpose! His comedy genius knows no bounds!”

“Yea I saw it but I just skipped to the JonJoke at the end like I always do. Did he have anything important to say? I’d better go back and read it again or he might get moody”
by SoSuaveNobody March 25, 2021
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