Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter

The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.

Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!

by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012

humpty blumpty

Getting blumpkins from a pregnant woman.

Shazney didn't allow the fact that she was heavily pregnant stop her having a good old humpty blumpty.

by Cherenkov June 13, 2007

humpty wangers

Slang for a mighty fine pair of breasts - of the larger variety

Take the weight off those humpty's

I do like fondling your humpty wangers

by ebuygum April 21, 2009

Humpty Bumps

Super-chub females with massive fat rolls hanging off their stomach (stomach aprons). This word only applies to these super obese with lots of heaviness around the mid-section, similar to the ones on "The Biggest Loser". Females with massive asses or legs would not be called this term.

That blond lady with huge fat rolls around her waist on The Biggest Loser is an ok looking humpty bumps.

by mocha12346 April 25, 2010

Humpty Dumpty

A fat round and smooth male who has no signs of hair on his body whatsoever. He only eats free ranged eggs because he’s a free egg, and has sex with starving women on a regular basis that weigh between 75-100 pounds, and when he cums he suddenly puts all of his weight on top of the woman and spatters cum and blood everywhere.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!

by Blackflys October 15, 2017

Humpty Dumpty

A fat round and smooth male who has no signs of hair on his body whatsoever. He only eats free ranged eggs because he’s a free egg, and has sex with starving women on a regular basis that weigh between 75-100 pounds, and when he cums he suddenly puts all of his weight on top of the woman and splatters cum and blood everywhere.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!

by Blackflys October 14, 2017

Humpty

Someone who falls too quick and gets their heart broken every time.

Lindsay: Damn humpty only knew me 5 days and fell in love already.

Kayla: Stage 5 clinger for sure!

by LMKSrfass December 20, 2018