Humpty-Dumptied

This wonderful event starts out with a man sitting on a wall to show off his crotch to a woman he has a crush on. To show the woman that he is mating material, he will hump the wall in hopes of moistening her lady garden. However, he does not realize that humping the hard wall will stimulate his spinky and cause a great fall... of shit. The poopy will land below on the woman, and all hopes of mating will be crushed.

Tyrant: Yo boss, happy Friday. Any fun plans for the weekend?

The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.

Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.

The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.

Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.

by Stoney69 December 18, 2020

HUMPTY DUMPTY

When you hump a girl presumably your date, then proceed to shit all over the bed, and make her clean it up.

Jack "Bro Natalie is a freak bro she wanted me to humpty dumpy her"
Steve"So did you??"
Jack "Hell yea bro"

A humpty dumpty is when you have sex with a girl then proceed to shit all over the bed.

by Reese98 May 3, 2021

Humpty Dumpty

A man who is a player and an asshole
(He humps and dumps)

Jen: don’t date that Humpty Dumpty

by BoliviaCitrius May 8, 2021

Humpty-Dumpty

When you dry hump someone and then take a dump on their face

John : "Ah yes, Susan loves the Humpty-Dumpty"

by Philosophical Panda October 13, 2021

Humpty Dumpty

When a someone is humping someone from the behind, and then carefully proceeds to take just the biggest dump on them. And I mean Taco Bell levels of crap, straight on the body. This could be intentional, but is usually accidental

Dude, how was sex last night?

Bro, I totally gave her the Humpty Dumpty last night!
That was totally sick!

by Gayvid2006 January 11, 2022

Humpty Dumpty

a fantasy for kids or a insult
its also a cannon but we dont talk about that

kid: " guys humpty dumpty is such a cool egg
teen: bro lookin like humpty dumpty with yo egg face bro

by humptiest dumpty May 16, 2022

Humpty Dumpty

Fat person with skinny legs.

This doesn't include someone who works out and skips leg day.

Humpty Dumpty must've gotten off from the couch for the first time in weeks.

by My naptime July 7, 2022