Faggoth Metal

Usually consists of a band, who’s sound is obviously derives from metal (has metal influences), such as distorted electrical guitars, and bass guitars, rapid drumming, and heavy vocals. However the difference between faggoth metal and REAL metal is the ideology of the band itself. A faggoth metal band usually poses for popular magazines, while signing on to giant labels in hopes of getting more money. Once this happens and faggoth metal band becomes popular and forgets why they wrote music to begin with. Faggoth metal bands are known to become quite bastardized, and begin adding their own catchy melodies, such as synths, pop-influenced playing style and female vocals. Other faggoth metal bands become so melodic and catchy, that eventually mainstream hits become inevitable. Faggoth metal bands are extremely popular in faggoths/mallgoths that have a conviction that they are listening to the heaviest form of music known to man, which is the only real reason they listen to it. Adherents of faggoth metal are either posers who are too intimidated by the real real metal culture, and know it, thus this becomes the next best thing for them. Either that or some douche bag jock who think it makes him/her appear tough. Unfortunately for them, this is untrue, and in fact, faggoth metal bands are generally rejected and ridiculed by true metalheads. Prime examples of a faggoth metal bands are Cradle of Filth (the quintessential example), and Slipknot (they are really a hard rock band, but you get the picture).

Faggoth Metal fan: “Dude, this fucking band is so hardcore! I love it, you should listen to it!”

Me: “I rather not…”

Faggoth Metal fan: “Yea, I bet…it’s because you’re too much of a pussy to listen to this, plus you’ve been affected by the mainstream…”

Me: “Actually, it is YOU that have been affected by the mainstream, which is the primary reason you listen to this sell out band. You think that this makes you an anti-conformist, when in fact, this makes you much more of a tool than the preps…And BTW, this is not death metal, it is FAGGOTH metal. If you want death metal, may I suggest a Morbid Angel album?”

Faggoth Metal fan: “Morbid who?!? That’s not metal…I mean…this…is…scary….AHH!!” *runs like a girl and gets hit by a speeding biker, instantly becoming decapitated in half*

Me: *shakes head* “ahh…kids these days…”

by BitterSalem April 3, 2007

faggophobia

A persistent and intense fear of anything that is teh ghey.

Kyle, a heterosexual male, never remarks when a friend gets a haircut because his faggophobia causes him to think that doing so will raise suspicion that he is gay.

by Nappy Ho DiMaggio January 9, 2008

faggoteer

One who is excesively gay or lesbo. A cracker like Mister Mike Jackson. Person who likes kissing overly much.

Well, well, well. If it ain't the three faggoteers. Lets all give a group kiss.

by Happy Homie November 10, 2006

faggothop

A faggothop is anything someone does when they want someone else to notice them.

This guy is such a loser, when he walks into class he does this little faggothop where he kind of awkwardly stumbles through a closing door.

by Snowman the Poemer May 21, 2010

royal faggotness

State; quality; condition; degree: brightness of a Superior homosexual man

Matt is always asking for things to do . .. he's like he royal Faggotness

by Shelbs June 21, 2006

Barry Faggotlow

A semi-famous orange-haired singer who may or may not be gay, aka Barry Manilow. Chicks love him, guys hate him.

I wonder if Barry Faggotlow would know what to do with Mandy if he caught her.

by andy1 January 23, 2007

Faggotbench

A bench built by and used by piles of sticks, as monuments to the Great Faggot War.

Gary was being a dickknuckle, so we sent him to sit on the Faggotbench, to remind him what those sticks did for him in the Faggot War...

by Kyoukan October 14, 2011