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Zombus Epiphany

The realization that the massiah and savior of the catholic faith is in actuality a perpetual zombie, due to the widely accepted fact that each year he is murdered, and put on display as a cadaver, but 3 days later returns to life, after his radial pulse had be completely destroyed, and proceeds to defy the laws of Physics. ie. walk on water, meaning he is lighter than water, only possible without any blood, living tissue, or healthy bone.
A: Hey, Jeezus will save us this saturday
B: Hopefully, we dont want to be zombies.
A: DUDE!!!!
B:...?
A: Didn't Jezus come back from the dead
B: yeah....
A: HES A ZOMBIE!!!
B...(*facepalm) Zombus epiphany much?
by Turkalurk2012 June 13, 2011
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The Epiphany Club

You are a member of the Epiphany club if you were born in the twelve days before or after Christmas (13th Dec - 6th Jan). Membership of the Epiphany club bestows some, if not all, of the following benefits:-
• People forget your birthday completely

• People will not buy you a Christmas / Birthday present (delete as appropriate), opting instead to buy you 'One big present' which never is.
• Nobody will want to attend a birthday party or go out on your birthday as they're too busy / broke / partied out / away visiting family. However will often say, "We will have a second birthday party in the summer" (which never materialises). There is an exception for those born on New Years Eve who do get to go out and party but attendees do it for the wrong reason.

• Your birthday presents (if you get one (see above)) will be wrapped in Christmas paper and the gift giver will apologise saying, "I couldn't find any birthday wrapping paper and had a lot of that instead"
I was born on Christmas day and get all the benefits of being a member of the Epiphany club.
by Milkysym December 20, 2015
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epiphany position

The position you end up in after an avoidable accident. Typically rolled onto your back after tripping over piles of hoarded magazines or falling out of your chair reaching for a hot pocket.
Tom remained in the epiphany position for awhile after slipping on marbles, in his prized marble collecting room. He now keeps his marbles in jars.
by Squidiculous April 12, 2016
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Epiphany whore

Someone who chasing the long tail of their perfection as a distraction from their purpose.
Susan, the fuckin’ world’s on fire! Quit navel-gazing you epiphany whore and help out already!
by Mr. Bob-a-Lina December 29, 2020
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EPIPHANY

STREAM EPIPHANY
STREAM EPIPHANY COWARDS
by mehhehe August 29, 2018
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The Office of the Epiphany

After dropping the kids off in the reflecting pool in The office of the Epiphany I had a revelation
by BDHN January 28, 2021
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Media Epiphany

When one little detail in a book or movie gives away nearly the entire plot and you pretty much know what's going to happen.
Dude, I was reading *insert some book here* and this guy said *some line here* so I immediately knew everyone was going to die. i had my first media epiphany.
by Rehauy January 9, 2010
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