chicken-bearding

Attempting to pick up a member of the opposite sex when the chance of success is 1 in a million ("So you're saying there's a chance?"). For example, your buddy gets rejected by an out-of-his-league hottie at a gas station while his friends laugh at his chicken-covered-beard.

Having departed KFC after drunken spring break binge, your buddy gets laughed out of the gas station after attempting chicken-bearding.

by batmap October 15, 2014

provider beard

Facial hair worn by pussified, emasculated cucks who have sacrificed their testicles, wallets and pride to domineering female spouses or significant others in exchange for sex and social acceptance.

Similar in look to the ever popular dad beard, men who sport a provider beard often have one or more of the following traits: a side-parted preppy hairstyle, SJW approved eyeglasses (for the visually impaired) J. Crew polo shirts, Nantucket shorts, Sperry Top-Siders and an aura of feigned happiness.

Hey, who is the bearded guy driving the soccer mom SUV? Oh, that’s just your cousin. His provider beard is all that remains of his manhood after his wife made him have a vasectomy.

by DJtadd May 21, 2021

Cat Beard

A lonely and grouchy woman with multiple cats and furry face.

Be careful, Cat Beard is on the warpath - someone must have taken her razor.

by Cat Beard April 2, 2016

Pubic Beard

A long curly beard that looks like a crotch rug worm on elderly man or a replacement of manliness when the mans genitalia is shorn like sheep are.

David letterman is so old he wears a pubic beard on his face to pretend he still has testosterone. Look at all the Cheetos caught in that mans pubic beard, he needs to shower after eating. He is insecure so wears a pubic beard because everything will be fine if he has one.

by “Goat Head” aka puncture vine December 12, 2022

Fructose Beard

A fleshy, saggy, pouch-like formation under the chin caused by overconsumption of highly processed, fructose-laden snack foods. A fructose beard obscures the natural jawline and renders the victim's face shapeless and lacking in definition.

Honey Boo-Boo's mom is sporting a serious fructose beard.

by barfstormman1 August 30, 2013

Bearded clam

Unshaven vagina

She had lost her razor awhile ago therefore her unshaven vagina had become a bearded clam.

by Clam digger314 January 20, 2019

Beard-a-lingus

Cunnilingus from a bearded brethren.

I was willing to see what it felt like when cunnilingus became beard-a-lingus, and I told him so.

by Amelia C.F. September 22, 2016