no-talent ass clown

Matt Haughey

That no-talent ass clown's website has been nominated for best stupid annoying place to post stupid annoying things of the year again!

by quonsar May 5, 2003

oh no... our table... it's broken!

When the parents begin fighting and yelling n shit and eventually they get so outrageously mad that the dad starts brutally hammering their coffee table out of pure rage. This phrase is how the child in the family would commonly respond after seeing the destroyed table.

Wife: I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NEGLECT!
Husband: SHUT UP OKAY, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Wife: YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS??? YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THIS FAMILY!!!!!!! ALL YOU DO ALL DAY IS SIT AROUND ON YOUR LAZY ASS—
Husband: MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! *inflicts multiple frenzied blows against the fragile coffee table*
Wife: *inaudibly cries in the bedroom*
5 minutes of silence later
7 y/o son: *comes out of the room* oh no... our table... it's broken!

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian November 13, 2021

tablejacking

making an unwarranted advance on somebody else's table, and camping there until closing time (or until you pay them to leave). similar to carjacking, but it involves more beer.

we were just chilling at a table in the bar, when out of nowhere some unchoice LA chicks tablejacked us. had to pay the uglier one 10 bucks just to get them to leave. we were victims of a tablejacking.

by bri_man82 February 23, 2008

tablessarium

The vacant area located immediately above one's browser window and adjacent to any and all tabs which may or may not be already present.

"If you need a new tab, just double-click in the tablessarium."

by Brian C. and Joe H. March 31, 2008

Table 18'd

1. To be on the receiving end of misfortune or a string of bad luck, most frequently in the workplace.

2. To be the victim of a subtle (but deserved) revenge plot for previously being a huge dick.

Guy 1: "Man, you got Table 18'd hard. It kinda serves you right for saying nasty things about the bride though."

Guy 2: "Tell me about it - they sat me next to the drooling guy in the wheelchair and a lady that smells like cat piss!"

by Matchstick Mafia February 17, 2009

Talent Sale

The current state of the IT job market caused by higher than normal unemployment rates. Companies are discovering that they can attract talented, highly qualified candidates at lower wages than they have in the past.

HR: Look at all these rock star candidates with 15+ years, masters degrees, and impressive accomplishments willing to work for $85k! It's a veritable Talent Sale!

by SomeITGuy September 14, 2009

Tableitis

The disease was first commonly found in the mid 17th century, With sugar plantations across the globe and monetary currencies being shipped from one side map to the other there were many pirates fighting each other for the prize while starving at the same time. Their limbs were slowly lost and reverting to a more natural solid wooden state.

The disease can be stopped if caught in time but if you ignore the symptoms eventually all four limbs will become wooden and your body will have fully converted into an antique wooden table. The remains of these long lost sea travelers can be found in antique shops and more commonly on TV on GPTV's Antiques Road Show - Tables Table Tables.

Tableitis victims can be found in antique shops and more commonly on TV on GPTV's Antiques Road Show - Tables Table Tables.

by CAJ565 July 5, 2010