mormon boner

An erection for the anus before marriage and for every orifice after.
Brad: I got that Mormon Boner.
Thad: You two aren’t married. Better get Becky some Depends.
by Johnny1981 September 12, 2021
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Mormon jacuzzi

During a Mormon Soak, 7 elders shake the bed for 7 minutes.
by Handle Deez December 27, 2023
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Anti Mormon Defense Wall

"Thank fuck for the anti Mormon defense wall, some of them get through occasionally, but we're still allowed to buy more than just 3.2 beer."
by Craig Chompson December 29, 2019
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Mormon Shocker

A modification of the traditional “2 in the pink, 1 in the stink” shocker, the Mormon Shocker is performed by simultaneously inserting 2 fingers in the stink (usually the pinky and ring fingers), and 1 finger in the pink (usually the index finger). It is a common practice in the Mormon community where anal penetration is a preferred premarital sexual act due their religious obligation of vaginal abstinence which naturally leads to a more sexually evolved anus.
I hooked up with a nice Mormon girl last night who wouldn’t have sex with me because she’s saving herself for marriage, so we settled for sodomy. I couldn’t even fit more than one finger in her virgin vagina so I had to give her the Mormon Shocker and stick one in her pink with two in her stink!
by MChamm3r December 18, 2023
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Mormon Shocker

A modification of the traditional “2 in the pink, 1 in the stink” shocker, the Mormon Shocker is performed by simultaneously inserting 2 fingers in the stink (usually the pinky and ring fingers), and 1 finger in the pink (usually the index finger). It is a common practice in the Mormon community where anal penetration is a preferred premarital sexual act due their religious obligation of vaginal abstinence which naturally leads to a more sexually evolved anus.
I hooked up with a nice Mormon girl last night who wouldn’t have sex with me because she’s saving herself for marriage, so we settled for sodomy. I couldn’t even fit more than one finger in her virgin vagina so I had to give her the Mormon Shocker and stick one in her pink with two in her stink!
by MChamm3r December 13, 2023
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Mormon blow job

When a person rests their dick on another person's tongue while lying down and jiggles their penis by giggling. Also known as a John Smith.
Oh yeah, I got a Mormon blow job last night while watching Veggie Tales - I laughed so hard I came all over her face!

Jane only John Smiths me, it's too bad she won't let me watch cat fails while doing it... I'd blow such a load if a rat started chasing a cat around.
by humdrumcumfun6669 March 25, 2023
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mormon juice

Mormon slang term for water - considering the poor fucks aren't allowed to drink anything else.
"How's it going brother? Wanna nice glass of mormon juice while we play a fun family friendly game of sharades?
by Uncle Mongo December 09, 2021
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