In any given relationship you have with another person that person is bound to be an asshole at some point so you mite as well be an asshole first.
Example 1
"I knew that the car in front of me was about to cut me off so I implemented the asshole policy and sped up so he couldn't get in front of me."
Example 2
I was walking out of wal-mart the other day and this bum said "excuse me sir", I could tell he was about be an asshole and ask me for money so I put the asshole policy into effect and told him "get a fucking job" before he had a chance to say another word.
"I knew that the car in front of me was about to cut me off so I implemented the asshole policy and sped up so he couldn't get in front of me."
Example 2
I was walking out of wal-mart the other day and this bum said "excuse me sir", I could tell he was about be an asshole and ask me for money so I put the asshole policy into effect and told him "get a fucking job" before he had a chance to say another word.
by dangoombie February 24, 2010
Chris said that he could do 3 times more push ups than Ædôn could. So Ædôn called him a conceited asshole.
by T-bone 420 December 18, 2017
oh i totally just Asshole Shitkicked john yesterday, it was fucking gross
I Asshole Shitkicked the fire mage and it was super effective
I Asshole Shitkicked the fire mage and it was super effective
by i love to asshole shitkick September 11, 2011
A laundry Asshole is someone who doesn't take their laundry out so someone else can use the washer and/or dryer. Usually found in college campuses or laundromats, though laundromat people are usually more alert to their clothes so they aren't pilfered.
Oh no, why did I leave for dinner right before my laundry was done? I'm gonna be a laundry asshole tonight I guess...
by N0where December 12, 2021
ASIAN is a Ninja Asshole
by xxBA115xFreaKyx June 16, 2010
A thoughtful, compassionate individual whose words and / or actions are indistinguishable from those of a self-centered idiot.
EXAMPLE 1:
That guy is such an enlightened asshole sometimes! He calls himself a friend, but seems to think that it is funny that I am loosing my job at BP and will have to go back to teaching. I hate my job, but that doesn't mean that I was ready to look for another one!
EXAMPLE 2:
Every day when I get off work -- all I want is a cold beer or two, but my girlfriend has to ask shit like "Does beer really make you happy?"... sure it makes me happy... for about an hour... damn, she can be such an enlightened asshole sometimes.
EXAMPLE 3:
My vegetarian co-worker had point out that there was "dead animals" in my chinese chicken salad today -- that enlightened asshole ruined my appetite!
EXAMPLE 4:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Yes, the hurricane destroyed most of the city, but perhaps the survivors will have an opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes in their life."
EXAMPLE 5:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Littering is not bad... creating trash however is destroying the earth. Perhaps we should let trash fall on the streets rather than allowing it to be hidden inside trash bins and landfills. This would at least remind us all daily of the destruction we are taking part in."
That guy is such an enlightened asshole sometimes! He calls himself a friend, but seems to think that it is funny that I am loosing my job at BP and will have to go back to teaching. I hate my job, but that doesn't mean that I was ready to look for another one!
EXAMPLE 2:
Every day when I get off work -- all I want is a cold beer or two, but my girlfriend has to ask shit like "Does beer really make you happy?"... sure it makes me happy... for about an hour... damn, she can be such an enlightened asshole sometimes.
EXAMPLE 3:
My vegetarian co-worker had point out that there was "dead animals" in my chinese chicken salad today -- that enlightened asshole ruined my appetite!
EXAMPLE 4:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Yes, the hurricane destroyed most of the city, but perhaps the survivors will have an opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes in their life."
EXAMPLE 5:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Littering is not bad... creating trash however is destroying the earth. Perhaps we should let trash fall on the streets rather than allowing it to be hidden inside trash bins and landfills. This would at least remind us all daily of the destruction we are taking part in."
by Guru Crossly April 04, 2012
Hawkesbury, Ontario, Canada. Specifically, a sprawling, lesser known cesspool-like area of unknown usefulness and stank therein, perhaps utilizing the facade of 'nature reserve' to ward off the unwary of its true identity.
'What's that rancid stank, bro??'
'Look around you, son. We're sitting literally right in the middle of The Asshole of the Universe.'
'Must we toke up HERE??'
'Indeed. Now pass me that bottle, and right here: in the very epicenter of the Great Cosmic Ass, high as kites shall we imminently proceed to get.'
'So be it.'
'Look around you, son. We're sitting literally right in the middle of The Asshole of the Universe.'
'Must we toke up HERE??'
'Indeed. Now pass me that bottle, and right here: in the very epicenter of the Great Cosmic Ass, high as kites shall we imminently proceed to get.'
'So be it.'
by uncle Bert July 31, 2012