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Brennan read

He is commonly known amonst his colleagues as a dosser and a Karen. He constantly complains about anything he gets the chance to. Brennan is a chelsea hooligan who believes that they are better than every other team in existence. He often cries and shouts in disbelief when they lose a game (which is quite a common occurance). Brennan is required to drink at least 5 litres of caffeine per day or he will be moodier than he already is. Brennan takes joy in ruining other peoples day and watching them suffer. He despises poor people and often looks down on them from his high horse.
by e.Trapz April 25, 2023
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read your pump

To read one's pump is to notice when an individual has recently lifted. Often used as a compliment or praise, acknowledging another individuals swollen muscles.
"Hey bro, your arms are looking juicy af right now. You do arms today?"
"Yeah, I did actually, how'd you notice?"
"Brother, I read your pump"
by Natty Lyfe May 12, 2023
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Thomas Crewe-Read

Stupid bitch with weird teeth and weird hair that likes to watch small children. He often goes to state school playgrounds in recess with a high-zoom camera and films them going down the slide. He likes it deep.
Parent 1: “Thomas Crewe-Read is here! Fucking protect your kids

Parent 2: “Damn straight, ni, get that creepy bastard fat 🥷🏿 out of this shithole!”
by SlipperySloshy January 16, 2023
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Gossip Read

Used when relating possibly non-factual information you read somewhere.
I gossip read that the Microsoft layoffs are mostly in the marketing department.
by HeyEbeth January 18, 2023
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Sandwich-reading

The process of reading the first and last chapter of a book, and then writing an essay about what you think the books insides are.

Educated guesswork using online summary sources are also a viable method of completing sandwich-reading.
I didn't read that book. I was only sandwich-reading it to make sure key points got introduced. I couldn't read the whole thing since I was too busy.
by Somegregoryguy January 23, 2023
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read the article

three words commonly used as cannon fire against someone who didn't read the article, and you feel the need to destroy them because you're a vengeful bitch.
Tom: Steven Tyler is innocent until proven guilty. Too many celebs getting railroaded or canceled because of these accusations!

Kelli: well, like, duh. Like, if you would just read the article, you'd know that he admitted to it in his autobiography!
by GG Allin February 2, 2023
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