squat cobbler

process of planting ones ass on a pie for sexual release

Andrew is a squat cobbler, it gets him off.

by The Glinch September 3, 2016

The Kvatum Squat

When you watch porn with your hands tied behind your back so you can diddle your own butthole.

Lyndsay was caught by the hotel maid doing The Kvatum Squat.

by Canadian Tuna December 19, 2018

squat cobbler

When one squats to rub his bottom in an actually pie

that squat cobbler cream pied his own ass, literally.

by Zowi320 September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

The act of sitting in a pie (whilst clothed or unclothed) in a manner to arouse or stimulate pleasure.
(first seen in Better Call Saul)

James: Man, Dan is a pretty good Squat Cobbler, but sometimes he cries when he does it.

by AttackOnPoke July 27, 2016

Hoboken Squat Cobbler

When a fully clothed person sits in a pie (or other cake like pastry) and commences to weep like a little girl. Squat Cobblering is usually engaged in by ugly, bald, middle aged men, who usually have some form of what appears to be mild autism. Said mild autism may manifest itself in an childlike, irrational and downright creepy obsession with baseball cards.

Did you see the back of his pants? He either crapped'em, or Hoboken Squat Cobbler'd a chocolate cake.

by Bob Barr 123 August 28, 2016

squat-itis

A condition where horny sorostitutes are so obsessed with squatting on cock that they cannot control themselves. Often causes arthritis in the knees.

Look at that slut flashing her ham wallet, definitely has a case of squat-itis.

by I'm Brian April 12, 2011

Squats

Squats is a rural Canadian term meaning pissed off.

Also associated with

Squat face : Your facial expression shows your level of squattyness.

Majority of the time being squatty is not justified.

Example : Derrick has the squats tonight because his woman drank his last beer.

I seen Derrick at the NSLC first thing this morning, wonder what happened to him, fucker had some squat face on.

Derrick got over being squatty after his 6th breakfast beer kicked in.

by TeamEastCoast October 23, 2018