Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.
“Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”
by Galaxy94 June 30, 2023
Get the Corporate Tortograph Theorymug. A money-hungry corporation that stopped making good original content years ago and almost exclusively makes shitty live-action remakes of the movies from their glory days, with the exception of a few poorly written sequels of the few tolerable movies they’ve created in the past ten years.
by Peruki November 16, 2023
Get the The Walt Disney Corporationmug. A six-pack marketed as a case. Corporate advertising that cynically misleads buyers into thinking they are getting more than they receive.
Contrary to the baker's dozen of 13 to encourage long-term loyalty, the corporate dozen provides less than that advertised for short-term gain. or: The baker's dozen is what we were, and the corporate dozen is what we have become.
by DrTortoise August 15, 2024
Get the Corporate dozenmug. corporate Hitchhiking is a term for going job to job, temp job to temp job with hope for all this jumping to add up to a solid high paying job/ career. All this time counting on your resume with its stunning large set of skills and items that are usually useless. You may feel its impressive having 3 to 8 pages of info but to any possible employer its shows you cant hold a job down
Jake: do you believe you can win a job with that 6 page resume.
Joe: darn tooting.
jake: but all youve been doing is jumping from management job to management job, from sinking ship to sinking ship.
joe: its only a little Corporate hitchhiking . just look at my entire skill list and my impressive job list
Joe: darn tooting.
jake: but all youve been doing is jumping from management job to management job, from sinking ship to sinking ship.
joe: its only a little Corporate hitchhiking . just look at my entire skill list and my impressive job list
by Theamazinggeek June 27, 2017
Get the Corporate Hitchhikingmug. A spineless bootlicker who will gladly get steamrolled by capitalism if it came with a lanyard and a Starbucks gift card. Will gladly defend mega-corporations that regularly screw over workers, customers, or the planet. Justifies it with “gotta feed my family” or “it’s out of my hands.” They’ll burn the planet, ruin your lungs, and defend the CEO’s yacht, all while clocking in for $18 an hour and a quarterly pizza party.
*Might* realize the system sucks. Still defends it. Because change is scary, and capitalism gives them enough to buy a brand new $50,000 pickup truck.
*Might* realize the system sucks. Still defends it. Because change is scary, and capitalism gives them enough to buy a brand new $50,000 pickup truck.
"Dude defended Nestlé stealing water from drought zones because ‘it’s legal.’ That’s some high-level corporate cuck behavior right there."
by bleepbloopbleeky July 26, 2025
Get the Corporate cuckmug. A type of video game created by a large corporation (often referred to as a AAAA game or quad 'A' game). These games are designed to appeal to the broadest possible audience, prioritizing commercial success over artistic innovation or creative risks. While they often feature high production values, cutting-edge graphics, and extensive marketing campaigns, they are frequently criticized for being bland, boring, and soulless.
Corporate games tend to follow formulaic designs, relying on "tried-and-true" mechanics and generic storylines to maximize profitability and minimize the risk of alienating any segment of their target market, which is everyone. This results in games that, despite their technical polish, lack originality, creativity, and depth. They often feature excessive microtransactions, season passes, and other monetization strategies that can detract from the overall gaming experience, these corporations may also incorporate "woke" language and themes, but they're often seen as a superficial and unsuccessful attempt at inclusivity that fails to add meaningful substance to the game.
Corporate games tend to follow formulaic designs, relying on "tried-and-true" mechanics and generic storylines to maximize profitability and minimize the risk of alienating any segment of their target market, which is everyone. This results in games that, despite their technical polish, lack originality, creativity, and depth. They often feature excessive microtransactions, season passes, and other monetization strategies that can detract from the overall gaming experience, these corporations may also incorporate "woke" language and themes, but they're often seen as a superficial and unsuccessful attempt at inclusivity that fails to add meaningful substance to the game.
I was really excited about the new sci-fi RPG, but it ended up being just another corporate game—great graphics, but it felt so generic and uninspired. It’s clear they were more focused on appealing to everyone than making something truly unique
by CurbMan July 19, 2024
Get the Corporate Gamemug. Should I shower before or after I enjoy some Corporate Company? Depends how dirty that skank is. I say both!
by gottano April 20, 2014
Get the corporate companymug.