corporate circlejerking

When corporations pretend to compete while actually collaborating to keep prices high, options fake, and innovation dead.

“Dude, these meal deals are all the same.”
“Yeah bro, classic corporate circlejerking.”

by geometrylkj;vzd093520-50 July 11, 2025

corporate graffiti

Corporate graffiti is a term used to describe leftover whiteboard content found in a pandemic-abandoned office building. Corporate graffiti paints a picture of a long-forgotten time, when sales figures, design decisions, and metrics masked our collective burnout.

Wow, the corporate graffiti in this office building is crazy - someone was designing a metaverse for old people!

by CloseButNoCigar March 2, 2022

Corporate Weapon

An individual with the work ethic of a warrior in battle. Increases stakeholder value and decreases downtime. Productivity skyrockets and fluctuates time to time. A corporate warrior is defined as a highly valuable asset to a company but highly underpaid in most cases due to many factors but some can make big bucks sticking to it long term or having specific qualifications to begin with.

Get up corporate weapon it’s time to increase stakeholder value

by Unevenly_balanced May 26, 2024

Corporate bulimia

Corporate bulimia is when companies grow uncontrollably then inevitably layoff people when they miss their growth forecasts. They "binge" via aggressive hiring, acquisitions and mergers, only to then "purge" via planned and unplanned mass layoffs. Results in a perpetually demoralized, depressed and anxious staff of survivors who then repeat the process until eventually the company goes bankrupt or is sold for parts. Rarely a company actually survives this cycle, thereafter attempting to appear healthy to outsiders while employees continue to suffer in silence. The term is an analogy comparing the neurotic growth of companies to the devastating illness bulimia nervosa, an eating disorder. All-too-often found in vainglorious Silicon Valley growth-focused companies.

"Another ten thousand wage slave layoffs were announced today in the latest rounds of corporate bulimia."

by GarethBeaumains August 15, 2023

Corporate dozen

A six-pack marketed as a case. Corporate advertising that cynically misleads buyers into thinking they are getting more than they receive.

Contrary to the baker's dozen of 13 to encourage long-term loyalty, the corporate dozen provides less than that advertised for short-term gain. or: The baker's dozen is what we were, and the corporate dozen is what we have become.

by DrTortoise August 15, 2024

corporate trivia

Local chains of trivia hosting whose most common venues are sports pubs or chain restaurants. May also include non-chain restaurants. Format is broken into short rounds, with frequent breaks to make the trivia seem longer without writing lots of questions. Instead of giving the whole night or category a theme, each question is random to provide maximum generic appeal. The host is picked not for their interesting question writing skills, but for their radio-style personality.

I spent 2 hours at a corporate trivia last night and had to drink 4 drinks out of boredom while our annoying trivia host individually graded one question at a time, written on their logo'd trivia notepads. Waste of time and paper.

by TriviaThrilledtheRadioStarPDX November 12, 2011

Corporate Hitchhiking

corporate Hitchhiking is a term for going job to job, temp job to temp job with hope for all this jumping to add up to a solid high paying job/ career. All this time counting on your resume with its stunning large set of skills and items that are usually useless. You may feel its impressive having 3 to 8 pages of info but to any possible employer its shows you cant hold a job down

Jake: do you believe you can win a job with that 6 page resume.

Joe: darn tooting.
jake: but all youve been doing is jumping from management job to management job, from sinking ship to sinking ship.
joe: its only a little Corporate hitchhiking . just look at my entire skill list and my impressive job list

by Theamazinggeek June 27, 2017