Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.
“Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”
by Galaxy94 June 30, 2023
Get the Corporate Tortograph Theory mug.An individual employee at a Fortune 500 company that exceeds the bar within their respective role all while being the baddest bitch in AND outside the office 💅🏾
Dashawn works for a big tech company and is always on his grind. Accolades on accolades left to right! I see him on IG traveling, shaking ass. Ugh such a Corporate Baddie!
by NYC Truth July 28, 2023
Get the Corporate Baddie mug.When someone is so fed up with a company or product they wait until the majority of employees gets off work and then sprays them with bullets comming down the front stairs to replace their staff and solve the problem.
Did you fix the problem with your computer?
No, it's not user error, I'm going to have to do a corporate driveby.
No, it's not user error, I'm going to have to do a corporate driveby.
by WGstyles July 29, 2023
Get the Corporate Driveby mug.Corporate bulimia is when companies grow uncontrollably then inevitably layoff people when they miss their growth forecasts. They "binge" via aggressive hiring, acquisitions and mergers, only to then "purge" via planned and unplanned mass layoffs. Results in a perpetually demoralized, depressed and anxious staff of survivors who then repeat the process until eventually the company goes bankrupt or is sold for parts. Rarely a company actually survives this cycle, thereafter attempting to appear healthy to outsiders while employees continue to suffer in silence. The term is an analogy comparing the neurotic growth of companies to the devastating illness bulimia nervosa, an eating disorder. All-too-often found in vainglorious Silicon Valley growth-focused companies.
"Another ten thousand wage slave layoffs were announced today in the latest rounds of corporate bulimia."
by GarethBeaumains August 15, 2023
Get the Corporate bulimia mug.In this context, the term “cowboy” has been given a negative connotation. In this sense, "cowboy" refers to those people who shoot around with empty word shells (hollow words or also buzzwords), especially in meetings with word salvos, in order to generate an impression among team members and supervisors to look as competent and intelligent as possible by using a lot of “intelligent or technical” words. This is also referred to as “bullshit-bingo” and causes a lot of hot air and dust but with a “peng-peng-wow-effect”, meaning, firstly, people are highly impressed and intimidated. But over time, team members and supervisors understand that it is just hot air and are in fact annoyed by the cowboy’s apperiance and “wana-be, joke cracking” leadership behaviour.
Their behavior is driven purely by opportunistic and egoistic nature and solely serves to present themselves strategically best in the company or in the team. Supervisors are slimed by the application of cowboyism, whereby people on the same level are run over by renewed word salvos and “peng-peng” gestures, knocked off and/or made mouth-dead.
The basic prerequisite for corporate cowboys is the lack of leadership qualities and incompetence of superiors or the deliberate promotion by other cowboys, who in turn satisfy each other's egoistic spirit in their own cowboy group to the point of neurological orgasm with their fictitious intelligence and pomposity. One calls it also "man round".
Their behavior is driven purely by opportunistic and egoistic nature and solely serves to present themselves strategically best in the company or in the team. Supervisors are slimed by the application of cowboyism, whereby people on the same level are run over by renewed word salvos and “peng-peng” gestures, knocked off and/or made mouth-dead.
The basic prerequisite for corporate cowboys is the lack of leadership qualities and incompetence of superiors or the deliberate promotion by other cowboys, who in turn satisfy each other's egoistic spirit in their own cowboy group to the point of neurological orgasm with their fictitious intelligence and pomposity. One calls it also "man round".
This dude is such a bullshit-bingo guy . He is a corporate cowboy......
or
Did you listen to Steve? He was just ..peng peng peng peng peng peng...all the time.
or
Did you listen to Steve? He was just ..peng peng peng peng peng peng...all the time.
by Azem14 November 22, 2021
Get the Corporate Cowboy mug.when you're too broke for lobotomy corporation so you make a super bad version in roblos (also can be a name for your friend group)
example1:
Oh shit i dont have enough to buy lobocorp, well looks like im gonna have to make Losh@ty Corporation..
example2:
GUYS HOP ON LOSH@TY CORPORATION I HAVE HARVESTED FRESH MEMES. THESE WILL PROVIDE 8000 ENKEPHALINS TO YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM😊
Oh shit i dont have enough to buy lobocorp, well looks like im gonna have to make Losh@ty Corporation..
example2:
GUYS HOP ON LOSH@TY CORPORATION I HAVE HARVESTED FRESH MEMES. THESE WILL PROVIDE 8000 ENKEPHALINS TO YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM😊
by communist4980984 April 18, 2024
Get the Losh@ty Corporation mug.Someone who utilises tactical strike patterns from offensive military strategy within business practices (i.e. Microsoftian Seige Tactics for Patent suppression), in order to fuck over anyone they can get their hands on.
That Corporate Douchebag just sent that Military Organisation to wipe out village that said no to their factory.
by Theirishbarmaid April 23, 2024
Get the Corporate Douchebag mug.